Hey Robby, lovin your site. I’m having a problem really similar to the girl
who asked about “Taking it Beyond the Random Hook-Up“.
I met this guy at the club back in November. He came up to me and came on
pretty strong. At the time, I didn’t think he was really exceptionally hot,
but I gave him my number. He stayed the night one night but he didn’t get
anything from me. He would text me alot to see if I was going out at night.
He seemed kind of like a player who probably asked alot of people to see
what was up for the night. One night when I did actually go out, he hadn’t
answered my text, and I saw him all over this girl.
I pretty much got the idea of what kinda dude he was and didn’t try and talk
to him anymore. This past couple of months, he’s started texting me alot
again. Like every day, he would hit me up to see what’s up. We’ve started
having sleep overs a few times a week. At first, it was just alot of sweet
cuddling and going to sleep, but my attraction to him has grown and we’ve
started hooking up.
I’ve come to realize that I’m feeling him alot more than I expected to. I
didn’t really think about the consequences when I started getting physical
with him. Now I’m really confused because I feel like I’m getting some
mixed signals and I’m not sure where his head is at with this situation. I
would like to get to know him better; he’s really intrigued me but he’s
pretty mysterious. I’m kind of emotionally shy myself and I’ll only open up
to someone if I’m feeling the signs that it’s safe. Our times together
aren’t exactly overflowing with conversation. I actually feel awkward
around him sometimes, which is weird to me.
He still texts me every night, to the effect that I’m pretty sure he’s not
fucking around with any other girl. I’ve told him that he’s the only one as
well. He cuddles so good, and even after sex, he’ll like to make out and
hold me. He even gave me an eskimo kiss once (haha so cute but wtf does he
want!). He has gotten uncomfortable/even jealous when there have been
other guys around me.
However, I’m apt to think we’re just doing the fuckbuddy thing because he
only texts me late night, and we don’t ever hang out outside of the bedroom.
I’ve tried to kind of leave things open for him to ask me to do something
directly, but it hasn’t happened. So when I see him out coincidentally,
it’s awkward to me.
The other night, he came home with me and we were both kind of drunk. He
was lookin at my phone and saw some texts to my best guy friend that said I
missed him cause he’s out of town. He was like ‘wtf really? I thought you
said I was the only one you were fuckin with’. I said “you are…
physically..?” and he looked kinda hurt. Then he popped “So what ARE
we/what are you feelin” question. Let me just tell you, I’m the type of
girl who is used to having the guys let ME know what’s up and I’m SO
uncomfortable with putting myself out there emotionally. I was pretty drunk
and I now wish I could have the conversation over again. I think I pretty
much told him that I dove into this situation without thinking much and
ended up catching feelings I didn’t expect and I’m not used to that. I said
that I was trying to see it for what it seemed to be and not get overly
involved? Plus, he’s leaving for the summer in a month. I asked him what
he thought, and all he said was “I understand” and we went to sleep. Uhh
Anyway, I know this is long and I apologize. It’s just been in my head so
much since I can’t talk it out with him. I feel like my drunken explanation
didn’t come out the way I really wanted it to, and he might be backing off
now. I would love to get to know him better. I really don’t think I can
keep doing what we’ve been doing because it’s just fucking with my head too
much. What do you think he’s thinking, and how should I take it from
Thanks so much.