Friends with Benefits »

[30 Mar 2010 | 2 Comments | ]

Hi Robby,

I really enjoy reading your blog. I have a friend who became my fuck-buddy
by chance. At first I was fine with it, but little by little I started
developing feelings for him. He got upset because I told some of our friends
and it got back to him, and he stopped coming over, stopped responding to my
messages and completely ignores me in public. When I confronted him, he told
me that we should take it slow. So I ignored him for a while and he came to
me one night and we had sex again. This time he wanted us to be exclusive.
So I agreed.
When I asked to hang out outside of the bedroom, he always said he was too
busy. Finally, when he kept cancelling on me at the last minute, I told him
we should be just friends and he kept saying how he no longer wanted to lead
me on.
The same week I found out he was bringing a date to our holiday party where
usually you bring your very serious partner. I confronted him again and told
him that he was being insulting. Now he’s ignoring me.
Did I mess up completely? Will I never save this friendship? I do still have
feelings for him but I wanted to be his friend first.

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Relationship Tips »

[27 Mar 2010 | One Comment | ]

Dear Robby G,

My story is a bit more complicated.
I am in a relationship with guy no.1.for 2.5 years, but since we don’t
even live in the same country, I don’t know if i can call it
“relationship” at all. Not only because of the distance, and the rare
meetings, but also, because we don’t have sex. This might sound weird, but
all those times we managed to see eachother the sex wasn’t working, he was
too frustrated, did not know how to touch me, finished early, etc. As we got
to know eachother well before we met, we became so much attached to
eachother emotionally, I really consider him as my “soul-mate”, and best
friend, I thought he is the one for me. But I became unsure if this will
ever turn into a real relationship, seeing that sex just not right.

In the meantime my friend introduced me to a very nice guy (guy no.2).
On the first date, he seemed so serious, so I didn’t want to see him again
as I was scared to start any other relationship, and he seemed too nice to
keep him just as a fuck-buddy. Few weeks later, we met again and started
dating. He was really caring and nice to me.
Slowly slowly we spent more time, we met once during the week and we spend
the Saturday night and Sunday together. Read the rest of this entry »

General Advice »

[25 Mar 2010 | 2 Comments | ]

Hi Robby, love the site and find the advice really useful.

Anyway, I’ve got a bit of a problem. I like this girl quite a lot and quite
a lot of people know at school that I like her (probably including her!) and
the other day I found out (a long with a lot of others) that one of my best
friends also likes her. He has never gotten off with a girl or anything
before (I have a with a few) and we are both 16. He knows I like her and he
knows I know that he does, and now he has started talking to me about it
saying how he doesn’t know if she likes him etc, just talking to me about
his problems with her (and we both know that both of us like her). It is
really awkward and I’m starting to feel like if i got off with her at a
party or something I would feel bad about it, and im also thinking that he
may use the fact that he has never gotten off with a girl for sympathy (we
haven’t talked about it properly yet). Do you have any advice of what I
should do/say to my friend or how I should act?

Thanks a lot Robby,
Mikey

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Relationship Tips »

[23 Mar 2010 | One Comment | ]

So last weekend I went out to a bar with my friends. I sat down beside my
friend and noticed the cute guy beside me. He immediately introduced himself
and we hit it off right away. We had a bunch of mutual friends so I felt
comfortable talking to him. He ended up buying me a couple drinks and we hit
the dance floor. I went home with him that night and it was the best sex
I’ve ever had – completely blew my mind. I knew it was only like this
because he is a TOTAL player (has a reputation of it). I was planning on
sneaking away when he fell asleep but as I was waiting I ended up falling
asleep too. My alarm awoke us in the morning and I told him I had to leave
and go to work. We ended up lying in bed and talking for over an hour. Which
completely surprised me! Usually I am always the one doing the talking with
guys and this was a total relief! He was funny, confident, and smart too.
When I said I finally had to go he started making out with me begging me not
to go to work. I just told him no and got up and put my clothes on. As I was
about to leave he asked me for my number. So I gave it to him but didn’t
take his… I just told him he could text me with his. I was planning on
waiting for him to talk to me, but as I was at work I realized I left my
necklace at his place (which has been in my family for years!). So I added
him on facebook and messaged him. I just asked if he had found it and then
made a flirtatious remark about his dance moves the night before. He
messaged me back saying he had found it and asked when i could get it…
also in a flirtatious way. So i told him just to let me know when he’s home
and I will come pick it up.
He hasn’t messaged me back or texted me (this was a couple days ago). And I
really want my necklace back, but I also want to play hard-to-get. Because
the more I think about him the more I kind of like him. I’m also in a sort
of fuck buddy relationship right now too and I’m getting sick of it. I want
the real thing. And I really like this guy… I just know he’s a player.
I’ve never liked a player before and I don’t know how to handle it. If I go
over to get my necklace what should I do?
Should I messaged him again or wait til he says something?
eeeeek help!

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Relationship Tips »

[23 Mar 2010 | 9 Comments | ]

Hi Robby,

Well this is a long one I am afraid.

Met this guy Dec 2006 we started having sex on a regular basis, we would go
out to the pub together, walk the dogs etc. He would come over 2-3 times
per week, sometimes we’d arrange or sometimes he just turn up. He only
lives up the road from me so we saw quite alot of each other. But we never
discussed what was going on and I didn’t know if there was any commitment or
not, so in March 2008 I went and had sex with someone else and got pregnant.
He asked if it had been a one night stand and I said no we were friends but
that it had never been anything more. I didn’t see him again……..its
like he disappeared off the face of the earth. Then I bumped into him when
I was about 6 months pregnant and we were chatting and he said that
eventually all women break our (mens)hearts. Did I break his heart then?
Didn’t see him again until my little one was about 6 months old, we had been
texting and agreed to go for a walk. We chatted and he kissed me. Didn’t
see him for months, I moved house to another town, he ignored the couple of
texts I sent and hey presto nothing. Then at christmas 2009 he text me out
of the blue. I replied chatty and nice and said I would be moving back home
(down the road from him) again in February then nothing until I text him on
New Years eve and said that I had missed him. From then on we text
everyday, agreed to meet up, went for a walk had lovely time, continued
texting until he had no credit and then he started to put notes through my
door in reply to my tests or would text me from his sons phone. I invited
him round and he came, had obviously made and effort, gave me a really nice
bottle of wine and we had a lovely evening together and of course ended up
in bed. The sex is great (best i’ve evr had) and we started to explore alot
more this time roundhat we each like and want. After we cuddles up in bed
and went to sleep, he never used to cuddle up to me but now he does, held me
so tight all night. Then he left the next morning, I asked him over the
following weekend and he said he was busy, then he text on the tuesday after
and said he would do the following weekend. Same thing happened as before
and we had a great evening. Now this is where it gets tricky, I text him
asking him to come round for dinner, he said no, I left it then on the
friday text and said do you want to come round, he said he was busy again.
I thn text back and telling him that I really liked him and wanted to see
more of him not less. No reply. I then saw him on my way home and blanked
him completely. So that night i got together with my mates we wre drinking
etc and I text him, we then proceeded to have text arguement whereby he said
he thought we were just two adults having fun and that was it and he didn’t
want me to be hurt blah blah blah, but he hoped that this would not affect
our friendship…..so in my infinite wisdom I text back that we were clearly
not friends and were just fuck buddies and that as I wanted more it was
better that I move on even though it made me sad that it would end. So over
the weekend I see him in the street a couple more times, he waves, i ignore
him. Childish or what, but I am hurting, then sunday night I realise that
actually I want it back to how it used to be, i really miss him and even if
its only sex that is better than never being with him again. Also he only
had one of the dogs with him and I am worried something has happened to one
of them as she had been ill (i text him to see if they were ok, no reply),
so I clearly do want to be freinds and care but feel that I have ruined
everything by being such an idiot. How do I turn the situation round? I
really like this guy and want us to be friends and have great sex, maybe one
day more. He is a quiet person and a deep thinker, never has discussed any
emotions with me, but what I cannot understand is why he was being so nice
and so loving towards me if he didn’t want more. Please give me advice. XX

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Relationship Tips »

[22 Mar 2010 | 15 Comments | ]

I have been seeing this guy as fuck buddy for about a year now. And i liked
him ever since, like i’ve cried over him. But i just can’t say it to him, because
i think he only sees me as just a fuck buddy. And now, he has a girlfriend,
though he didn’t confirm it, but i saw pictures of them on facebook. So
anyway, I want to let him feel that i have feelings for him, by not making a
fool out of myself. Should I do it? how?

Read the rest of this entry »

Friends with Benefits »

[21 Mar 2010 | 5 Comments | ]

So I have this open relationship with this girl. We been messing around for
a couple months. We are also best friends. It started off rough and it was
pretty smooth sailing for a while. Until tonight, where she asks me how i
feel about our situation and her. So i told her that i think everything is
going pretty smooth and that i have love for her as a friend and nothing
else. We both understood that this was never going to get very serious in
the long run. So she then tells me that she understands everything but she
feels that her heart might fall for me and she doesnt want to be hurt again.
Shes afraid that if she falls for me and at that point i only see her as a
friend again or just someone to have sex with. i told her that if it ever
got to a point where her feelings were growing for me, stop and end it. Then
she started saying that she’s never going to find someone to love her and
she’s going to be single for the rest of her life… She also has a 2 yr old
son. I told her that she needs to open up to people and look for someone.
She said that she’s done looking because it’s hopeless and she doesn’t have the time
to date guys. I dont even know if there’s a question for you… What are
your thoughts on this and what/can i do for her?

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