Hooking Up »

[12 Nov 2012 | No Comment | ]

Hey! I want to ask you for advice. Two and a half years ago I met a guy. We’ve
spent two weeks together but we’ve never seen each other again after that because
we live in a different countries. I didn’t fall in love with him and yet when I see his
picture, hear his name or just think of him, I feel butterflies in my stomach. I
don’t know what to do and how to forget him because he is everything I’ve ever
dreamed of and during the time we spent together he liked me quite much too, but
we’ve only kissed twice. And there were a little complication, because it turned
out that he slept with another girl during the time we were in one country which
is normal cause we’ve never been dating, and after I found out I cut all
connections with him cause I thought that if he liked me he wouldn’t have had sex
with that girl which was my friend, but after we got to know each other better he
said that I’m his perfect match and I feel that he is mine. Soon I’ll have
opportunity to go to his country and I’ll be able to visit him, should I do it?
should I pursue happiness with him or should I leave it? Please, help me!
Anna

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Step Up Your Game »

[19 Oct 2012 | No Comment | ]

Hi Robby,

I met this guy 3 months ago several days after I broke up with my bf. He
recently got out of a relationship of nine years as well. We hung out several
times. We ended up sleeping together. He told me then he doesn’t like dating and
doesn’t want to waste time fooling around. When he officially asked me to go on
a date I shied away. At this time my ex came back asking me to work things out.
I decided to drop the new guy for my ex bf. Two months past and things once
again failed with my bf. However, during the past three months the guy never
gave up asking me to hang out. He would ask me to hang out almost every week
only for me turn him down. Just about 2 weeks ago I decided to just give it a
chance. EVERYtime we’ve hung out, he would bring me around his friends (all of
which are married or engaged). He was very openly affectionate with me in front of
them. There was no denying we had something going on. I’ve even met his parents.
However, EVERYtime we hang out we end up in bed together. And he would cuddle
with me and ask me to spend the night. The last time we saw each other, he said
he wants to take me on a date and that he likes me, but it’s weird because we
haven’t talked since and it’s almost a week. He hardly texts or calls unless he
wants to hang out. We don’t chit chat or anything. Before, I’ve never texted him
first. When I do text him now, he takes hours or even days to respond. I don’t
know if he just lost interest or if he’s just unattached to his phone. Some
times he’ll take hours to respond but when we’re together we have a great time.
I’m not making sense of all of these mixed signals. Can you help? Thank you!

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Friends with Benefits »

[25 Aug 2012 | 2 Comments | ]

Hey Robby,
So I’m in a bit of a situation- what situation I’m in, is what I’m hoping you can
tell me. Met this guy through a friend- hit it off immediately and have been
hooking up ever since for three weeks. He has a girlfriend of 8 years, so its
the perfect situation for a fb relationship- no expectations on either end-
discussed and everything. The last 2 weeks he has been sleeping over, every
night- and if he skips a night -we see each other everyday. We are at the point
where we don’t have sex every time we see each other- cause we see each other
too often. Also my birthday just passed, and he bought me a brand new macbook
laptop- and I’m positive he’s slept with other people while he’s been with me.
So where does this ‘relationship’ -whatever that may be- stand? Am I a
borderline prostitute, fb or his wanna be girlfriend? – btw he’s not unreal
wealthy or anything and he’s 27 and I’m 21- if that makes any difference. Any
feedback would be appreciated.

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Friends with Benefits »

[23 Aug 2012 | 3 Comments | ]

Hi Robby,
I am one of those women you try to help. I have the same problem with a FB
shitty relationship or what’s it called and I seek your assistance.
I have been with a FB for almost a year now. We met at a club and started to
text and met a couple of times and then during the fall it went quiet. Then out
of the blue he texted me again just before Christmas and wanted to sleep with me
again. I told him it probably wouldn’t be a good idea since it after all was no
good the last time.
But I got convinced and we started to have sex. We texted all day, every day for
six months and everything went so well.
Until the day when I thought we could try to do other stuff, like watch a
movie, have dinner or just a walk, not just spend time in his bed. He was ok
with that but nothing ever happened. I noticed a change in his behavior, he
wasn’t as happy and flirtatious and fun in his texts anymore. And one evening I
went out with some friends and we bumped into him. He was just stone cold, said
hello and nothing more. He was really friendly with my friends and they hugged
and laughed and danced but not with me. I got really sad!
When it was time to leave the place one of his friends came up to me and had the
last dance. We made out on the dance floor and I guess my FB saw that. I called
him on my way home but he was busy and agreed to call later. By then the friends
had followed me home and spent the night. My FB called and texted me several
times that night wondering why I didn’t answer, if I didn’t want him to come
over, and I just replied that I too have to sleep sometimes. The day after he
didn’t answers calls. It took 2 days for me to get hold of him.
We had a long chat about what we are, that I wanted to be with him but he just
told me he didn’t want anything serious because then the risk for getting hurt
and betrayed wouldn’t be an issue.
I then knew I messed up! He knew what I had done and that was it for him. After
that he hasn’t been the same towards me. He answers my texts and we have hooked
up a couple of times after that but the spark isn’t there.
Could it be that he had feelings for me and I fucked up when I brought home his
friend? Even though we wasn’t bf/gf?
I have tried to keep the contact but read in another post here to keep my
distance for 2 weeks and I did. Then last weekend I went out with some friends.
And a nice guy came up to me and we started talking. As the night went on he
went to the bar and I went to the bathroom. When I came out I saw the new guy
and my FB was friends! Laughing and having a great time. I panicked and went
home.
Last night I went out again, with a fear that the 2 guys would be there and they
was. It got ugly. My FB ignored me as usual. The friend was happy to see me but
I told him we were having a girls night out and I had do go to my friends.
When it was time to leave I was trying to get hold of the FB just to clear
things out but he was busy with other friends so I left to get a taxi. The new
guy caught up to me and we started talking about everything. He asked me if I
was together with the FB but I told him no. He also told me that they had had a
talk, about me. I asked about what and it came out that the FB had told the new
guy to sleep with me so that he didn’t have to anymore.
We went to the taxi and on the way there the FB called him. He asked something
about the progress of the plan and who he was with.
Then I saw the FB had sent me a text asking if I wanted to sleep with him. I
just laughed it off and told him if he was for real. He told me he wanted to have
sex and just asked. I asked him why and he replied that it is good.
Then I went mental and told him I want more than just sex and why he has to make
a relationship so much more complicated than it has to be and then he never
replied.
I know I should forget all about him! But it is hard. In your opinion, if there
any way to “start over”? To make him mine? To make him realize what
other men say to me, that I am gorgeous and seem like a really good person and
all that.
I would be so glad if you would take the time to come with some advice.
Thanks!
MissPussy

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Friends with Benefits »

[29 Jun 2012 | No Comment | ]

There is a lot to this but I’ll try to be brief.

I have been fucking this guy for a couple months now. The first night I went
over there, I told him I didn’t want a relationship. He keeps telling me about
his friend, a musician, that I need to meet him and we would have a good time
playing together. (I’m a musician too) Well, Friday night, a couple of my
girlfriends and I went out with my buddy and his friend. The moment I saw his
friend I didn’t want anyone else, and it was pretty obvious he felt the same
way. So all night he and I were flirting, and my buddy was flirting with my
girlfriends. We all go back to buddy’s place and continue to drink and play
guitars and stuff. One of my friends leaves and then buddy is all over my other
friend, so his friend and I go into buddy’s room and are on youtube listening to
music, chillin, looking into each others eyes and I feel a kiss coming. Right
then buddy comes in and wants to talk to me in the bathroom so I go. He wants to
have a threesome with me and my friend. I tell him that I’m actually having a
good time with his friend and why don’t they just do it. He says well ya’ll have
done it before right? And yes we have and I tell him. So he’s like come on you
know you want to, so I say maybe but I don’t want your friend to leave yet. So I
come out and sit back down with his friend, and then buddy takes his friend
outside. I hear raised voices and he comes back in, grabs his guitar and burns
out. I’m like wait! Where are you going? and buddy slams the door before I can
chase him out. I was wanting to get his number because we were wanting to hang
out again. So then buddy’s like let’s go let’s get it on and I say hold up I
like your friend and I didn’t want him to go! I didn’t get his number. And buddy
says I have his number now let’s all fuck. I say give me a minute because I
feel like I lost his friend and I really REALLY liked his friend. I tell them
I’m not into it, I just want to go to bed, but because we’re all SINGLE, they
should feel free to go do it. Then he takes me aside again and says he doesn’t
want her unless I do it too, and he really likes me and all this shit and trying
to be all up on me and I had to fend him off all night because we were too drunk
to drive home.

Now I need to know how I can get his friend’s number?? I don’t think buddy wants
me to have it. This sucks because I really like his friend and I’d rather not
talk to him anymore because he was such a dick to me and my friend but he’s the
only way I can get to his friend. I feel awful about it, but I can’t change the
way I feel.

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Hooking Up »

[28 Jun 2012 | No Comment | ]

I noticed that some women on here are complaining about how unfair it is that men are called studs when they sleep around, yet women get called sluts for the exact same behavior. It’s actually not a double standard though, because both scenarios are pretty different in terms of circumstances and consequences. I can think of at least four crucial differences:

First, sleeping around is easier for women. Regardless of how you feel about promiscuity, we can all agree that a guy who manages to rack up a lot of sexual partners has to have some skills. It’s challenging for men to rack up partners, even for men with low standards. A man needs social intelligence, interpersonal skills, persistence, thick skin, and plain old dumb luck. For women, though, a vagina and a pulse is often enough. Whenever an accomplishment requires absolutely no challenge, no one respects it. It’s just viewed as a lack of self-discipline. People respect those who accomplish challenging feats, while they consider those who overindulge in easily obtained feats as weak, untrustworthy or flawed. Read the rest of this entry »

Friends with Benefits »

[21 Apr 2012 | No Comment | ]

Hello Robby, I could use your advice, I have been happily a FB for the last 3
years with a guy I met as I’d just came out of divorce. Initially I did the
typical woman on the rebound thing, and fell in love with my buddy. But he sat
me down and explained the rules and we’ve been fine ever since. Until a couple
of weeks ago, we got up a heated steam of passion and for the first time, fucked
without a condom. It was accidental, but incredible. I didn’t think too much
about it as in terms of pregnancies he’s snipped and I’m coiled. STIs are
covered as we get ourselves checked regularly. I’m exclusive so I know I’m safe,
we never talk about other relationships – not my business, nor is it his. I
should add that the reason why I’m exclusive is that I’m busy, run my own
business and don’t have the time or capacity for any serious relationship right
now, maybe sometime in the future, but not yet. There is a problem I need to nip
in the bud…we had unprotected sex again a couple nights ago…and I liked it.
Now I’m annoyed at myself as I’m going into emotional connection mode again and
need to get back to the raw, straightforward sex we had before riding bareback
reared it’s lovely head. So I could just produce a packet of condoms the next
time. My FB didn’t seem at all worried about being free- I know he’s a bloke
and that’s what most prefer…but I’m taken by surprise at his laid back
attitude to this development as he was the most insistent and uptight person
that we started using condoms in the first place. I’m curious though, I know I
just should ask him… but what could possibly be going on in his head, from a
blokes perspective? Spirit.

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