Step Up Your Game »

[4 Apr 2012 | 2 Comments | ]

Okay.. first of all I’m loving this page..
I’ve been reading and reading stuff all morning, btw you’re great with advice..
Ok so I have this situation and i really need help.
There’s this guy, we’ve been talking for almost a month now, but we’ve known
each other for so many years but never really talked.
he’s 31 and I’m 24, so there’s this age difference. He just got out of a 5 year
relationship about 4 months ago but he’s not hurting or anything at least he
says he’s better now than he was before. So in about 25 days we been out 10
times–to the movies, shopping, eating, to parties and visiting friends of his,
he invites me everywhere. And we always have a great time, we talk to each
other all day, by the time i get to work at 8am, i already have an email from
him, and we keep talking all day.
So yesterday we watched movies at his place, the living room was occupied so we
watched them in his room (good excuse right?)
so we were in bed… cuddling the whole time (HE STARTED IT) and really close
to each other, when the movie ended we were still in bed and he was acting all
sweet we laugh a little bit, and we were like face to face, under the covers.
There was this moment when it seemed by the way we were hugging each other
that he was dying to at least kiss me..
but… WHY WHY WHYYY WON’T HE KISS ME??? So, by the time i got home everything
was normal. We talked a bit before going to bed..
Surprise Surprise.. I get to work today… and there’s no email. So, I’m like, hes
at work too, so he must be busy, so i send him an email.. tick tock its been 3
hours… and there’s no answer.. did i do something wrong???
WHATS GOIN ON??? I don’t even know.. i have the feeling we’re both seeing where
this leads us..
but geez we were in bed.. and the cuddling and hugging and acting sweet was ALL
HIM.. He started everything..
I don’t even know where I’m standing at, hes probably busy right now.. and he
will eventually answer.. still i don’t know what’s happening…

Read the rest of this entry »

Friends with Benefits, General Advice »

[27 Mar 2012 | 3 Comments | ]

Hi, i’ve been having a casual relationship with this guy who is 12 years younger
than me for about 6 months. Its also long distance so i have only been seeing
him about twice a month.He lives in my hometown in Wiltshire, so I go there
often to see family.

I did not tell him my age for fear of putting him off and I look alot younger
than i am (45). I fell for him as soon as our eyes met and he was very keen too.
I was happy because i had not been out or slept with anyone for 3 years mainly
due to being diagnosed with breast cancer and going through treatment and my
self – esteem was very low.

Anyway we chatted and went out the following night for a drink and stupidly
ended up having sex (it had been a long time!)He seemed to like me though and
said he would call. I then made another stupid mistake and texted him the next
morning asking if he got home ok as he had to walk quite far and was worried –
he did reply and said he would call me. I then returned to London.

I did not hear anything from him but bumped into him when i returned to
Wiltshire 2 weeks later in the local pub. He said hi, looked a bit nervous and
walked out. I then sent him a text to ask why he was giving me the cold shoulder
and he replied saying he wasn’t but was just shy. So l replied saying do you
fancy a beer and he said yes, so arranged to meet. Guess what?? he didn’t turn
up!!I saw him later that evening and he was very wasted in the pub. So i decided
not to bother with him but was still a bit hurt as i was so attracted to him.

I saw him a month later in the pub again and didn’t really speak but later on
that night he rang me to see what i was doing – so i ended up going back to his
house and having an extremely passionate 9 hours. He knocked me for 6 as i
couldn’t believe how amazing it was and never had experienced it before. He also
said that he couldn’t believe I was in his room.

But at the end there was no chat or cuddles and i suddenly felt really uneasy
and cheap – so l left and he said he would call me later that day so we could go
out that night. He didn’t!

Since then i have been returning home every 2 weeks mainly to see him as I’m
addicted to the passion. He only texts me when he wants sex and i foolishly gave
in thinking i could handle what was obviously a fuck buddy thing.

He has opened up with me quite a bit and admitted he is a drug dealer with a
serious coke/ketamine habit and doesn’t understand why someone like me would
want to be with him. He is very ashamed of himself and I feel sorry for him but
he doesn’t ever want to know anything about me. He has showed some signs that he
cares eg. he made a playlist on my ipod one night which was mainly love songs and
took me to meet his friends. He also asked me last time i was with him what was
going on with us, so i said l really liked him and would like us to get to know
each other better and maybe go out sometimes- thats all- he then went on to tell
me all his problems but never said how he felt about me.
l know that there is no future with him because of his problems but l wished
there could be. Last time l was down he completely ignored my texts saying i was
there and have heard nothing for 2 weeks. This will sound crazy but i’m madly in
love with him and i don’t know why as he shows me no respect but l’m heartbroken
and severely depressed now – wished to god i’d never met him. I just want to know
why he’s suddenly started ignoring me. I did get the feeling that there was
something there and his friends say he’s a lovely guy with a heart of gold so
i’m really confused. He is completely wasted just about every day and i don’t
think he knows what hes doing and l also think I’ve really lost the plot feeling
like this about some one who’s a dealer and a serious junky.

I just want some answers as to why he’s suddenly lost interest so l can move on.

Read the rest of this entry »

Dating »

[12 Mar 2012 | 3 Comments | ]

Hi Robby:
I’ve been seeing a special someone for the past 2 and a half years. We’re both
married. He’s very affectionate with me and the sex is fantastic. The problem I
have is that I wish he could take me out more often. I understand neither of us
is available on weekends, but we both have a flexible work schedules during the
week. I must clarify he’s always been this way. Nothing has changed on our
relationship. I’m just getting tired of simply going to a local coffee shop
after sex. How do I ask him to take me out more often? He has the money and the
time. Thank you for your response.

Mrs Upset

Read the rest of this entry »

Breaking Up »

[5 Mar 2012 | 2 Comments | ]

I really need advice because I am afraid to get hurt! I’ve been with this guy for 8 months. I met him in a bar and at first I didn’t like him and also he is 2 years younger than me but I decided to gave him a chance because he seem to be a nice guy. We start dating, he took me out for dinner, drinks, dance and also invited me to have a dinner in one of his friend’s place. The first month was amazing.. we used to text in whatsapp.. calls.. everything.. but summer arrived and both of us have our plans during the whole month of august.. I tried to be in touch by whatsapp.. but he always replied late and he never texted me first. After one moth we meet again and he seemed different… he changed. Instead of meeting up twice or three times per week now it was once per week or even one every 15 days. He stopped texting me in whatsapp and just in a while he called me.. I try to meet him too many times but he was always busy and every time that I wanted to make a plan he had too many excuses so I decided to text him and let him know that I didn’t want to be in this kind of relationship so in few word i just ended everything. He didn’t answer my message just after 1 week he called me and told that he needed to talk to me because he didn’t want to finish the things like this. He told me “I’m out of the city but i will call you..” he never called me.. and the next time that I met him was by chance it was with a girl in a bar. So he broke my heart.

After two weeks or maybe more… I meet him again (because we go to the same gym and also because he lives very close to my house) so he came to me to invite me to have a drink. And also to ask me about my life because I was having problems with my visa (because I am a foreigner in this country) so he offer me help. He started to call me again and helping me getting me a lawyer. So everything start again. Having sex and texting, calls… but I talked to him before to start over again and I asked why he changed?? He told me that he has been feeling depressed and when he feels bad he prefers to keep apart. So also he told me that he is not ready for a relationship because his ex cheated on him so now he doesn’t trust any girls. And I told him I’m not ready neither (which is not true) but just trying to change his mind in a close future. So we decided to be fuck buddies really open to meet more people if we wanted.

So it’s been up and downs in this relationship. Sometimes he text me sometimes he just disappears. After sex he always cuddles and sometimes he sleeps at my place. During all night he hugs me or he hold my hand. Since one moths ago.. we talked about everything. Job, family, problems and we start working in personal projects together because I am a photographer and he likes to paint. So we help each other. Sometimes he likes to talk about future with me… or make future plans with me but next days he is very cold or he doesn’t look for me for days… Since one or two months ago everything just happens at my place now we stopped going out for drinks and now we just spend time in this way.. first we chat for hours and then we have amazing sex which he always finishes being very cuddly and nice. Now I see him every time at the gym and sometimes on the way to my job. I’m sure that I’m falling in love and I don’t wanna be hurt… what should I do?? Should I go away?? Should I talk to him?? Im just wanna know if there is a possibility that we end up in a real relationship… My friends tell me to be patient one day he will be in love?? Hope you can tell me what to do! thks!!

Read the rest of this entry »

Dating »

[25 Feb 2012 | 2 Comments | ]

Hi Robby,
Hope you can help, I am 27 and have been single for a few years but I am ready
to put myself out there! I have had attention from men but I can be picky..I
have been hurt in the past, so I won’t settle for second best.
I have met a guy who is 23 through a friend, he seemed really nice, we danced the
night away and shared a kiss, he asked for my number and asked me on a date. I
accepted…we had been texting a lot and having a giggle. I thought we were
having a great time and I was looking forward to the date as he told me he liked
me (can’t get much clearer than that). The day of the date arrives and he
cancelled on me said he had to work. Then since has gone really quiet. Did he
like me, shall I forget him? I am so confused.
Kindest Regards

Read the rest of this entry »

Friends with Benefits »

[20 Feb 2012 | One Comment | ]

When I open my inbox, I notice that the majority of the questions I receive from readers tend to focus on the same issue. “I’ve had a friend with benefits for this or that many months and I’ve began to fall in love with him or her.” In this post I want to clarify to readers how exactly not to get attached to your friend with benefits and just have fun, because if you’re not in it for the fun and want something serious with emotional ties, then get yourself someone who is interested in the exact same thing: a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Any way you put it, the driving force behind a friend with benefits is sex. Sex and the desire for sex is what you two share in common. It may sound a little unethical to some that you can be with someone just for the sex, but that’s exactly what a friend with benefits is. You usually like your FB in the same way you like a friend. You may like spending time with him or her at moments when you have nothing better to do, but there is no monogamous attachment other than that. You aren’t obligated to not see other people and you can have multiple FBs simultaneously. When you’re in a relationship on the other hand, there are a lot of responsibilities that are attached and the reasons why you get a friend with benefits rather than boyfriend/girlfriend is very different.

I’m not going to explain how to find a friend with benefits, that has been covered in various other posts already but I would like to delve into the reasons why someone gets attached to their friend with benefits and how to avoid this. Read the rest of this entry »

Hooking Up »

[16 Feb 2012 | One Comment | ]

A volume 2 before a volume 1? No, this is not a blog-style knock-off of a Tarantino movie (“love you hunni-bunny”), but simply a better way to indulge into a not so distant past before becoming disturbingly nostalgic about a girl that got away or some other unfortunate event such as that which only you can possibly care about.

Regardless of the circumstances and without getting too religion-oriented (atheists rejoice), the one cardinal sin that every single one among us is guilty of, and on a daily basis is lust. Yet I consider lust to be a beautiful, almost a natural part of life that I wish everyone to lustfully embrace. Lust is not sex (neither is masturbation, for those not up to date), but rather an excessive desire of a sexual nature. So naturally, I will be talking about lusting after females but feel free to input a name of your choice, to make the reading more appealing to your needs. I sincerely doubt a day goes by without each and every one of us not thinking for just a glimpse of a second about a (pleasant) sexual encounter with whoever just happens to undress herself inside your head (pun intended). Read the rest of this entry »