So I met this guy through my friend, and we started dating and have been
speaking to each other everyday since we met… we got together and made it
official… bf/gf… but then I started hearing that he is still mixed up
with his ex-gf of 3 years… so I lost trust, and we started to argue
non-stop… we broke things off but now we are still having sex together, I
am not sure what is going on with his ex and him, and I dont know if i
should ask… I want him back, but I think he is very confused with me and
his ex… I have a feeling he might be cheating on his ex with me… i am
not sure what to do… but I really enjoy the sex, and things are a lot
easier now that we aren’t offically together…

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Today I interviewed a fellow blogger, Srini Rao from The Skool of Life where he takes you on a course of personal development. I find his posts quite useful and overtime I can easily say he’s become a friend. I’d like jump right into the interview here and suggest you check out his blog once you finish reading this, because it really does have some meaningful content.

1. First, let me ask you how you started blogging and what made you want to blog about personal development?

I started blogging last summer when I was working as an intern at Intuit between my first and second year of business school. I did it then mainly to learn about social media. When I graduated from business school I realized I needed some sort of tangible asset to showcase the skills on my resumes so I started The Skool of Life. As far as why I chose personal development, I had an interest in it. I had been studying quite a bit for years and I knew I could write about it because I was passionate about it. Conveniently it helps with all the other goals in my life too. At first however, I was only using my blog to try to get me a job ,but its resulted in much more.
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I just got out of a bad relationship of three years. During most of it, I
cheated on him with his best friend. Now that the relationship has ended,
The best friend and I have become fuck buddies. It worked for a while but I
have now developed feelings for him. It seems like every time we have sex my
feelings for him grow. I know that all I am to him is a sex buddy, but I
want more. I want to be in a serious relationship with him. Should I tell
him I how I feel, or would it be best to end it? I’m very confused and need
advice!

Off the bat, the problem in this situation is that if you do tell him that you like him and want him as a boyfriend then he may not approve of it simply because the way you guys hooked up was through you cheating on his best friend. Even though he may not tell you, he may have a slight inclination to believe that if he makes you anything more than a fuck buddy then there is a chance that you will treat him the same way and end up cheating on him. It’s not written in stone, but there is sometimes a thought in the back of a man’s mind where he judges a girl based on how she has treated past boyfriends. He may be thinking that remaining fuck buddies is the only way he can really keep you wanting him more, because sometimes once a full relationship is adopted then the excitement of not completely being in control of what you want burns out.
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So I met this guy at a party a couple months ago. At this party I was all
over him and this other guy at the same time. He asked my friends if I was a
‘player’ and they all said I was. I ended up hooking up with him and said “I
didn’t want a relationship because I just got out of a 2 yr relationship.”
We ended up exchanging numbers and he ended up texting me and we ended up
hooking up again the next day.

The first couple months of our ‘fuck buddy’ relationships, he was texting
me all the time. We would hook up once a week or so. One night I was at the
club with some of my girls, and he ended up going with some of his guys (we
both didnt know each other where gona be there). At the club he was all over
another chick right in front of me (he was drunk too). I just blew it off,
even though it bothered me a lil bit. A couple nights later he invited me
over to his house for a party so I went. he was telling everybody “I was his
girl” and “we where dating”. I corrected him and said that we where just
sleeping together, and not dating.

A week later he calls me up and invites me to a party of his. I said I’d
probably show up a lil later because I just got off work and needed to take
a shower. He goes “well theres this other girl that I’m sorta seeing. You
always seemed like you never wanted a relationship.” I said “No I didn’t
want a relationship, and I was expecting you to be with somebody else. But I
won’t come over because it’d be a lil wierd.” He says “well you probably
thought we where more then what we where and I feel bad now.” I said “no I
never said that we where more, I never said I wanted more. Theres nothing
wrong.”

A week later he texts me again wanting to chill. So I go over to his house
and we chilled and talked bout life. Neither one of us mentioned anything
about the last time we talked. A couple days after that he asked me to come
over and chill again with one of his friends and him. I go over there and he
kept trying to get me to stay the night with him. I said no I had to go home
that night. In front of his friend he kept saying that just having a fuck
buddy was the way to go and you should never be in a serious relationship. I
ended up leaving that night and brought his friend home. His friend said
that hes amazed that I said no to him and that nobody ever says no to
sleeping with him (staying the night).

My fuck buddys called me a couple of times but each time he acts a little
different. I am starting to like him, but I don’t want to tell him. I don’t
know if hes trying to sleep around to see how I react to it, see if I freak
out. Or if he wants me to freak out about it and finally just break down and
ask him out, or tell him how I really feel. I don’t let him see that I have
feelings for him, and when we hang out I don’t act like I want a
relationship. Is he just playing me? or does he actually want a
relationship?

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I have been receiving many questions concerning fuck buddies and noticed that there is a pattern of mistakes that people make while in a fuck buddy relationship. Though there is usually a distinct line between a fuck buddy and a boyfriend/girlfriend, many seem to add features into the fuck buddy relationship which blur that division and that is usually when people end up getting hurt. In this post I will assess and describe the essential mistakes that people make and the final aim is to know what common mistakes fuck buddies make in order to avoid them.

Leave the Emotions at the Door

The number one mistake fuck buddies make when they are starting out is that they think that you don’t need any preparation when entering a fuck buddy relationship and that it’s great to have a woman/man to sleep with whenever you’re feeling like having sex. When they enter the relationship, they tend to completely disregard their own emotional state and do not realize how vulnerable they can actually be. You must be shallow when you’re approaching a fuck buddy situation. There is his or her looks that you must care about and whether or not you have a sexual attraction or chemistry towards your partner. All other emotions should be left at the door. Read the rest of this entry »

Thinking back on 2009, it’s been quite a decent year. I published a book, I kept this blog alive, and I moved to Amsterdam for a year. Though there weren’t too much opportunity to monetize on many things, like I mentioned in this guest post, I feel that 2010 will be an even greater year. In ‘09, I went through a lot of things that I never expected and it’s crazy how what I planned for to happen in the beginning of 2009 turned out by the end of that year. I never expected to be celebrating New Years in Amsterdam with two of mates from Canada.

What Did I Do For New Years?

I woke up hungover at 8pm, thinking I wasn’t going to be able to drink the entire night. Then my friends and I got to a house party at around 10, and then the drinking began. A bottle of vodka, a bottle of Jager, and numerous beers later my friend was throwing up on the wall outside before midnight hit, and I was chatting to some people at the party. I wasn’t used to how nice Dutch people are. Read the rest of this entry »

So I met this guy at a bar while at school and he lives in the same
area I do when I am at home. We hooked up the first night we met, and since
have hooked up twice and are planning another. He often asks me to go out
with him and we send flirty texts, but told me he has had sex with another
girl. I am starting to like him, but I also know he could just be saying
things I want to hear to get some. What should I do? Does he like me? Should
I tell him I like him and want him to get rid of the other girl? Or is being
a fuck buddy a permanent relationship state?

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