5 years ago, I met a guy and we got along quite well. After we met, we only
had contact with eachother by webcam, ‘cuz we didn’t live really nearby.
We talked almost everynight but since I felt like it was leading nowhere,
and I was very young and full of hormones(16); I started seeing another boy.
But when I met up with the first guy(A) he was very flirtatious with me, I
had almost gone too far with him, but then he told me that my boyfriend
wouldn’t like that’

after a year I broke up with that boyfriend and after some months me and A
met up, for sex. We agreed it was only sex.

after that I had some short relationships; and one (that recently ended) of
2years. During that relationship; I had seen A couple of times. one time at
a festival, we went for a walk outside the festival area; we talked; and he
gave clear, very clear (as if he just said it xD) that he wanted to have
sex. after a long discussion (and a fight with my innerself, ‘cuz i did find
him really attractive) I told him that he couldn’t always ask this from me,
when I’m in a relationship. You see, we talked about the fact that it was
only sex, he made it clear when he was talking about life in general that he
wanted to enjoy his youth and didn’t feel like a relationship. But still he
made the habbit of asking certain attention when I was in a relationship.
That night, I told him he couldn’t do that anymore, ‘cuz it’d make me wonder
about stuff for the next couple of months again. He answered that he knew I
wouldn’t, and that I would just move on again after this, just like I always
do. And then he refered to times when that happened according to him.
after that we still had contact by sms, about random things.

a while ago, I broke up with my boyfriend. And I have been thinking about
hooking up with A again. He is not giving me completely the cold shoulder,
it’s more with ups and downs.

Another thing that seems important here to me now is: when my ex-boyfriend
and I decided to live together, he gave some sarcastic comments.

Could it be that A is mad at me for not ‘waiting’ for him for all these
years? And wouldn’t that be quite silly, ‘cuz he clearly told me at the time
we had sex that was all he wanted.
I’ve been wondering about this a lot, a friend of mine says it’s likely, ‘cuz
I was A’s first bed partner. I on the other hand thought it might not be
such a big deal for boys.

whenever I ask A for clarity about this, he hides behind jokes and allusions
on having sex. I’m 20 now, this has been going on for 5 years; the men of
whom I asked their opinions have always been friends of mine, so I think
they might not be completely honest with me.

So please, an objective opinion on this.

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Friends with benefits come and go and there usually isn’t too much emotional attachment involved. You sleep together, you may be seen in public once in a while, and the sex is usually crazy fun. Then you get a girlfriend and you really like her and for a change you begin to care about this girl’s opinions and what she is doing when she is not with you. The emotions are there and so is the support if you ever need it, but something may be missing. The sex isn’t as fun. “Why?” you wonder. She’s beautiful, you like her, and you two should be having the craziest sex of your lives together. It all depends on how you treat her in the bedroom. The way you treat her in public and the way you treat her in the bedroom shouldn’t be the same at all, it should be quite opposite in fact. Read the rest of this entry »

So, I used to be fuck buddies with this guy for about a couple months. Let’s
see, originally, we were going to try to date but I started acting crazy and
super insecure. It’s just not me, at all. So, we stopped having sex for a
while, honestly, we’ve hung out more than we’ve had sex. Anyway, am I over
reading this? He always takes care of me when I cry, no other girl, or gets
into fights with other guys who are treating me wrong. And he always says,
“I really, really care about you” he used to tell me how much he really
liked me but it has all stopped before. Maybe because I told him that I’ve
never liked him and all I wanted to do was to have sex. He got mad and
stopped talking to me for about a month and half. I feel like he does like
me like that and has stopped short a month ago telling me that he has
thought about dating me and at one point, he did like me like that but at
this point of his life he didn’t. Mostly because he started talking to his
long term ex girlfriend and of course, it didn’t work out. On occasion, his
good friends pull me aside and tell me how much I’ve hurt him, if I could
grow up then I could have him but at this point of my life, i do not deserve
him. Anyway, so, we stopped talking when he started talking to his ex and he
started talking to me again but unlike the original times since i’ve lied
and said i didn’t like him or care about him, he started actually talking to
me. Like trying to be my friend, inquiring me about my day, wondering what
I’ve been up to, I mean, I know maybe he’s transferring his feelings for his
ex towards me and I do not want to be the rebound. I want to date him and
we haven’t had sex for about a month, we just hang out or text each other.
Do I have any future in this? I want to date him, I have feelings for him
(which is why I stopped having sex with him so he could sort himself out
with his ex) and I believe we could be a good couple. I’ve taken time to
grow the hell up and he’s obviously trying to be in the right place. I do
believe it’ll take some time but I’ll do anything to date him. Or maybe I’m
just a friend right? I don’t know.

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Hi there Robby,

I’m so happy I came across your site. My problem is with the guy I’ve been
seeing for more than 2 years. When I met him, all he asked from me
was just to have “fun sex” and I was “game” with it. It was ok at first but
then, after a while I start to get jealous with women in his phone..be it
women he texts or women he had pictures with. I started asking questions to
clarify if he was married or have a gf or if he’s in any kind of
relationship. He gave me vague answers at first then later on, he would say
“no, im not in a relationship.” Despite him saying that, I did not lose
hope that he would eventually be my bf someday. At the same time, I try to
go out with other guys since I understand he never said a thing about “us”
or our status. Time came when I was really fed up about him not calling or
texting me sometimes and only contact me whenever he felt like doing it. So I
decided to just end whatever connection we had coz I was already heartbroken
and I know whatever we had was going nowhere. We hadn’t had any sort of
communication for a few months. Even if he sends text message, I ignore it
because I want to end my heartbreak. After 9 months or so, he texted me to
greet me merry xmas and then later on, he was trying to have me back again
for no other reason than sex. I already had the courage to say “NO” and told
him that I want real relationship and not just sex. I even added that if you
can’t give me the relationship I want, it’s perfectly fine with me as I was
ready to find someone new at that time. After a couple of months, he texted
me again wanting me back for the same reason but of course I still said no.
A couple of months later, I found out that he’s already married with a baby
and that his wife gave birth a couple of months before he texted me again
for xmas. Well, his wife is really pretty and sexy and I should say prettier
and sexier than me but I don’t understand why he still wants to have sex
with me. Any thoughts? Sorry if this was too long but I’d like to hear your
thoughts about this. Thanks!

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Robby G,

Hey. My girlfriend dumped me because I have been treating her like shit for
the last few months. The thing is I was not in the right frame of mind. I
was suspended from work due to false allegations made by another officer(I
work in a jail). I was off for 4 months and those 4 months I hit rock
bottom. I drank smoked a lot of pot and took a lot of sleeping pills and she
was the only one around and I took all my frustrations out on her without
really knowing I was doing it, she was just the only one around for me. The
final straw was that she saw I had emailed my old girlfriend to meet up. I
told her that it was nothing at all, and it really wasn’t. I had wanted to
meet her and tell her there is no reason to talk at all anymore because all
of our stuff we had (car ownership, banks stuff etc..) was dealt with. But
finding a email like that is brutal. I understand this. I never cheated on
her though. I did try to juggle a lot of bullshit at one time and used
alcohol and drugs to deal with all of my problems and it blew up. I just
found out I was cleared of all allegations!!! (My ex and I work together as
well) It’s going to be fucked up to work together. But I don’t know if
there is any chance of us getting back. She’s up and down and now says she
doesn’t really want to talk. I’m trying to get back to normal and feel
like I am a little bit more logical. But this whole work thing changed me as
a person. It was a serious thing. I work at a jail so false allegations like
this can ruin your career. Anyways. Besides the few months of me going
crazy, we had a awesome relationship. We both connected on a level that we
both thought was perfect. The sex was amazing, the way we cuddled everything,
shopping etc…! I need to know some advice on how to get her back or to
move on. Is there a chance? And if so how do I get her back without fucking
it up? If there is even a chance. Its been 3 weeks since we broke up. I’m
going crazy. Help a brother out.

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This is a guest post from Eric J. Leech, author of Love, Lust, and Relationships

A guy may be able to throw a curve ball, speed shift a Honda Civic, or throw back three shots of Tequila. However, when it comes to picking out a lacy bra and panty set for a couple of ugly’s on various dating website’s, most guys prefer to keep their ties in the closet, rather than themselves (yes, this is a gay reference in poor taste). This leaves him with absolutely no idea where to begin when it comes to buying a frilly underwear combo. Let’s face it, it can get a little confusing with about a mile of different kinds of lace. Ten strategically placed peek holes, and 30 color variations, ranging from virgin, hot pink to jaundice, STD-yellow. Nevertheless, don’t panic, Tyran Richards (Playboy centerfold, March 2007) is here to talk you through it. Read the rest of this entry »

hi there, just wanted to get some advice from u if i may, in regards to the
ex. We were together for 4yrs and we broke up reason why well
were not even sure, a lot of things happened at that time and it put a strain
on us both… We have been broken up now for a yr and yes I’m afraid we
are still seeing each other.. I just don’t know whats happening like yes of
course i still love him, but there is so many things he does that’s just soo
confusing and i keep telling him lets just go with the flow and see what
happens. Ok so let me start a list.
He totally is very affectionate with me, loves to cuddle and kiss and just
be in each others arms. whats confusing is i’ll joke and say you still like
me don’t you and he will straight away say no. What comes out of his mouth
does not match his actions and that’s really annoying. lol the next one.. We
will sit there watching a movie or just relaxing and he will say things to
me like i really miss your kisses, or hugs, or the way you smell and i just
brush it off cos i wouldn’t want to get into it and be felt unneeded if you
get what i mean, but he really does like to be in my company and i do with
him. We still go out to dinner or go do something or ill stay at his place
and he might stay at mine, but as much as i want to see him he is the one
that does not seem so keen. When together we both dont want to apart but when
we have parted he just never stays in touch. as in every other week we will
meet up. He has told me he has a little feeling for me so i guess that’s
something, but another thing is he tries pushing me away and ill say fine no
more contact but then he comes running back and ill do the same cos well we
should not be doing this, and i guess we both find it hard to leave each
other but don’t understand why he is not coming forward with me when he know
how i feel for him. There was one time when he was really serious on
shutting me out and randomly he said there was a big secret and he told me
he cheated on me a few times. As i was i didn’t believe it and was very upset
as in why he told me now when there was a time he was very angry and could
have said then. I asked to know what happened but to me it just don’t add up
with time frames and numbers of how many women changed so lol I don’t think
he even knew what he was going on about, but when i want to talk about it he
changes the subject or shuts down completely and its a topic not to be
spoken about lol idk either. We are great together and i do see and feel
that, we don’t live close to each other and he does shift work so its hard
sometimes seeing him then too, but i feel maybe its the influence of his
friends or something i feel is holding him back. There is not other lady in
his life as hes already told me and I’m not with anyone else either but i am
meeting other men, so I’m not putting my life on hold for him but it is
frustrating when he never speaks about his emotions or feelings and its hard
trying to get it out of him and as you can see i do get quite confused…If
you can understand him and let me know what i should be doing then i would
be happy to know anything…Thank you for listening to me it was really
great getting it all out. xo

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