Friends with Benefits, Step Up Your Game »

[13 Jan 2012 | No Comment | ]

Hi, Robby! Your site is amazing, thank you very much for all the time you put in
it!!

Robby, I found myself in quite a tricky situation and I really need your advice.

I met Adam at a party. He had a girlfriend of 5 years when we met, he was open
about it, and after one week and one amazing emotional sex, we decided to stop,
(mainly me), because I didn’t want to get in the middle of a relationship. After
less than a month he contacted me. I found out that he broke up with his
girlfriend (apparently other reasons. They had a toxic relationship of on and
off’s for 5 years and he also cheated on her several times). Anyways, now he was
single, I had a thing with someone else by then. Yet, after about a months of us
having some sex, but being mostly apart we finally both were single and we
became sort of full on sex-buddies.
The thing is, we get along amazingly well. We feel like we are true soulmates,
he told me many many times, that I am the first girl, who made him feel this
type of a soul connection. In general, he told me many many beautiful things,
especially about my personality and “the beauty of my soul” and how we
fit together so well. Sex was amazing as well. I am much older than he is. I’m
26, he’s 22. And that is our problem. I want a serious relationship and I was
open about it from day 1. He, on the other hand, tells me, he’s not ready for a
relationship, which is fair enough considering his age and prior experience.
Having talked all of it through, eventually, we decided to spend more time
together and “see where it leads us”. After 2 weeks of some amazing
time (he basically moved in with me, it was his initiative to move in) he
suddenly said, that he needs to stop it. That he cannot do it. That all he can
see is that he will hurt me at some point and that he really doesn’t want to
hurt me, because he cares too much. He also said he’s scared of being
emotionally dependent on another human being that much. In the same time, he
said that he cannot feel romantic about me because he needs time after his
break-up, and that he really tried, but he cannot lie to himself. He also said
he is not going back to his girlfriend, we are really close and I’m 100 percent
sure he is not going to.
He also said he wanted to spend time with me, as real friends and also as
sex-buddies, because he didn’t want to lose me as a person. He cried, I cried.

Yet, I decided to cut him entirely off my life, because I need time to get over
him. I told him I’d do this, he cried some more, but agreed to it.
I am in love with him. I haven’t seen or heard from him for some time now and I
really miss him. I know he misses me as well. But I also know I am not
emotionally ready to be just his friend or his sex-buddy. At the same time, I
feel like I am making a mistake by excluding him from my life.
Please, Robby, tell me what you think I should do? Should I be his sex buddy,
secretly hoping for a relationship, or should I just forget about him and find
some-one ready to commit?

Thank you very much!
Have an amazing day!

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General Advice »

[11 Jan 2012 | No Comment | ]

In 2011, 1 in 4 relationships reportedly started online, and that isn’t including those that were motivated by Facebook and other social networking sites, that’s strictly ones that begun on registered online dating sites like Match, PassionSearch or eHarmony. It’s not only the easiest way to find a date, but it’s the fastest growing online trend of all time—Since 2008, online dating sites have been visited by more individuals than porn sites, which have been the reigning go-to sites since the internet was first introduced.

The problem with online dating is that most people don’t know where to start. We grow up with our parent’s advice on what to do during a first date, watching how to act with potential lovers on television, and getting perspective on what good romance is from movies, but our generation has no real education in how to date online. Read the rest of this entry »

Step Up Your Game »

[6 Jan 2012 | 2 Comments | ]

This is for all the single guys out there. Many dating advice sites out there give you the impression that there is one certain way to approach a woman and you shouldn’t dare stray from their “method” or you won’t succeed. This sort of mentality usually turns you into a robotic womanizer who does things that aren’t in your nature and when something goes off course, you become lost for words. Also, with this sort of game plan you are either attracting complete airheads, or women who are looking for a good time for that night and will probably not be too interested in the morning. If you are looking for a more serious relationship, then there isn’t one way to approach a woman you find attractive. There is, however, a way to raise your chances to getting her number and later on developing a formal relationship. This is something that has worked for me countless of times and it is more in the attitude rather than what you say and when you should say it. If you have the attitude locked down then whatever you say will seem interesting and will have an impact on her. There have been times when I would say the biggest nonsense, but simply because I had confidence saying it and I wasn’t afraid that she would think less of me that I easily got away with it, and if it seemed offensive for whatever reason then I would just laugh it off claiming I was joking around. Read the rest of this entry »

Dating, General Advice »

[2 Jan 2012 | One Comment | ]

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 3 to 4 weeks now and things are
great. But when it become to guy friends, he thinks I will cheat on him by
talking sexually to them. I tell him all the time I wouldn’t talk to them like
that because I only love him. Every time I say I don’t talk sexually to to guys,
he doesn’t believe me.. Now he’s mad at me because I told a guy to text me because
I needed to talk to him about something important. I don’t know what else to do.

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Hooking Up »

[28 Dec 2011 | One Comment | ]

Hi, so glad I came across your website!

I neeeeeeeeed your help! I know there are similar type of posts about fuck-buddies,
but this is definitely unique. Okay so a few months ago I met this guy in a bar
and as I had a boyfriend at the time I didn’t make a move so we just had a bit
of a bantering back-and-forth type relationship over texting. A while after I
broke up with my boyfriend the texting became a little bit more heated. I’m 20
and he is only 17. After school one day he came to visit and as I have never
slept with someone that wasn’t a boyfriend with whom I had a great friendship
this was new. First I wasn’t thinking that would happen. We did not have much to talk
about. So we fucked 3 times that night. He slept over and we did it again before
he had to leave for school. We even had a shower together. Every time he comes to
visit we talk very little, we just chill and have sex. He keeps on dropping
little ‘I’m gonna have to marry you’ type sayings. I do like him a lot but the
fact that he is soooo young and because the relationship started off with sex I
don’t know what he thinks of me or expects from me. The other night he wanted to
know what I feel for him both physically and emotionally to which I answered
physically he makes my blood boil and emotionally I like him but will have to
get to know him better. And what does he think about the whole situation. He
says he is in love with the idea of being with me and when I asked ‘being with
me, how?’ He said more on the dinner side table side like a date. When I said to
him make your move then his answer was ‘first I want a naked pic.’ I told him
that ultimatum won’t work for me sorry. Is he toying with me about actually a
relationship? I don’t want to get hurt and thus far I have kept emotion out of
it but the more he talks about it the more I think about it. What should I
do????

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Friends with Benefits, Step Up Your Game »

[25 Dec 2011 | No Comment | ]

My ex And I were together For 7 years. He broke it off with me for someone else.
It’s been two years since we split and since then we have been sleeping together
off and on. We have three kids together so we always see each other.
After the break up I guess you can say we became fwb. While being fwb he said
he was talking to someone and she was celibate and they weren’t serious. As time
goes by he gets married which I didn’t know. Till one day his pregnant wife came
to drop my children off, telling me they are married and that she knows I still
want him. To stop calling him and I better leave him alone. So I tell her that I
had no idea that they were even together. I also didn’t know they were engaged.
I didn’t really know his girl. I just knew her brother who’s close friends with
my cousin.
Her brother would always talk about how he was happy for his sister. Because she
such a good Christian woman and how she finally found someone Etc.. I asked her
what my ex says about me when they first got together. How long have they been
together and married. They have been together a few weeks after we broke up and
married for 8 months. I tell her my ex is a liar and that we’ve been sleeping
around since. What I couldn’t understand was he dumped me for whatever reasons.
I wasn’t what he wanted at the time and I’m not now. So why keep sleeping
together. Especially now that he’s recently gotten married–why not just leave me
alone?

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Step Up Your Game »

[17 Dec 2011 | No Comment | ]

I’ve been friends with this guy for a while, we hung out Friday night and we
watched tv and then he started to kiss me, later on I went home. The next day he
sent a text asking if I wanted to come stay the weekend, I said sure..I got there,
he introduce me to his dad and his dad’s friend, then his friend and friend’s gf came
over and he introduce us. Later on he took me to a few more of his friends and
introduced us, most the time he would call me “old girl” when he
introduced me, all together I met 13 people over the weekend. (i mite add his
friends have a weird sense of humor) but all his friends and family were calling
me his girlfriend and he didn’t say nothing he went along with it, then Me and
him took his friends gf to a Couple places and we sit in the car and waited for
her. We were talking I was joking around and said you know everyone is calling
me your girlfriend he said yea I know. The next day we were hanging with his two
friends and they were joking around about threesomes and being silly, later on
that day I went home then he texted me and asked what about a threesome? I said
no he said that sucks do you have a friend? I said really?! He asked if that
was ok I said no it wasn’t. If I didn’t have any kind of feelings I wouldn’t have
drove all the way there to hang out and I sure in the hell wouldn’t have had sex
(I know tmi) he said I didn’t know that I said it don’t make a difference now he
then asked why I liked him I told him. Then he said that’s cool I’m just not
ready for a relationship for other reasons, but I do think you’re pretty cool. I
said yea, well is me having feelings going to stop us from hanging out he said
no I just want another buddy. I never wrote back. The next day he texted me
what’s up like nothing had happen the night before?! I wrote back to him then
the next day he wrote and said what’s up I said nothing he said nothing
wondering if your coming over I said were you joking the other night? He said
“Maybe, why?” I Said “just wondering” then he asked Again if I was able to come over
well I did go over and when I got there he was in the dark with his friend
watching a movie. I went to sit next to him it was quite he moved closer to me so
we wouldn’t be on each end of the couch and then after the movie his friend was
picking another one and I got my phone out and looked at him and asked what the
hell was this about he said idk lol I asked were you playing around or what. He
said “maybe”. I said “I’m looking for a yes or no”. He said “yes”, then I
didn’t say nothing and started watching tv. After the movie he made a spot on the
floor for us to sleep I said “You want me to stay the night?” He said “it
don’t matter” I said “ok”. I went to the bathroom and came back he turned all the
lights off and was on the floor so I just got down there with him he put his arm
around me and didn’t try nothing the whole night then we got up that morning and
he was getting ready for work and I was going home. Before I left I said please
don’t send me any More texts like that he said ok soo I haven’t heard from him
all day.. Him, his family and friends said they would see me this weekend so i don’t know
what to do please help!!!

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