5 years ago, I met a guy and we got along quite well. After we met, we only
had contact with eachother by webcam, ‘cuz we didn’t live really nearby.
We talked almost everynight but since I felt like it was leading nowhere,
and I was very young and full of hormones(16); I started seeing another boy.
But when I met up with the first guy(A) he was very flirtatious with me, I
had almost gone too far with him, but then he told me that my boyfriend
wouldn’t like that’
after a year I broke up with that boyfriend and after some months me and A
met up, for sex. We agreed it was only sex.
after that I had some short relationships; and one (that recently ended) of
2years. During that relationship; I had seen A couple of times. one time at
a festival, we went for a walk outside the festival area; we talked; and he
gave clear, very clear (as if he just said it xD) that he wanted to have
sex. after a long discussion (and a fight with my innerself, ‘cuz i did find
him really attractive) I told him that he couldn’t always ask this from me,
when I’m in a relationship. You see, we talked about the fact that it was
only sex, he made it clear when he was talking about life in general that he
wanted to enjoy his youth and didn’t feel like a relationship. But still he
made the habbit of asking certain attention when I was in a relationship.
That night, I told him he couldn’t do that anymore, ‘cuz it’d make me wonder
about stuff for the next couple of months again. He answered that he knew I
wouldn’t, and that I would just move on again after this, just like I always
do. And then he refered to times when that happened according to him.
after that we still had contact by sms, about random things.
a while ago, I broke up with my boyfriend. And I have been thinking about
hooking up with A again. He is not giving me completely the cold shoulder,
it’s more with ups and downs.
Another thing that seems important here to me now is: when my ex-boyfriend
and I decided to live together, he gave some sarcastic comments.
Could it be that A is mad at me for not ‘waiting’ for him for all these
years? And wouldn’t that be quite silly, ‘cuz he clearly told me at the time
we had sex that was all he wanted.
I’ve been wondering about this a lot, a friend of mine says it’s likely, ‘cuz
I was A’s first bed partner. I on the other hand thought it might not be
such a big deal for boys.
whenever I ask A for clarity about this, he hides behind jokes and allusions
on having sex. I’m 20 now, this has been going on for 5 years; the men of
whom I asked their opinions have always been friends of mine, so I think
they might not be completely honest with me.
So please, an objective opinion on this.