Dating »

[28 Oct 2011 | No Comment | ]

Hi Robby,

Bascially, i’ve been having a f**k buddy thing with this guy i work with. He
joined 5 months ago (when i was engaged) and there was a connection from the
moment we were introduced… Which he admitted to feeling too. Anyway my ex
and i broke up and that’s when the flirting started happening with my
co-worker. We had met up at lunchtimes and he came out for drinks with
colleagues after work but he always had to leave early. Then he invited me
out to meet him and his friends one night and one thing led to another and
we ended up back at his hotel (he lives in a different city). We met up at
lunchtime on the Monday after to “chat” about things. He told me he had a
lot of technicalities in his life and i said that was fine because i was
recently out of a 4 year r’ship and was engaged and not looking for anything
serious (even though I do fancy him a lot). He said his situation was
basically that 6 months ago he had come out of an 8 year r’ship and is
living in-between houses with his ex and mum as him and his ex still own
house together but he doesn’t stay there every night. We’ve been having a
fb r’ship for about 8 weeks now and the sex is amazing, we see/speak to each
other every day (during the week and sometimes weekends) and he always holds
my hand, kisses and is generally very affectionate towards me when we
arrange to meet up. One of my other co-workers knows what is going on and
she thinks he feels more for me and says she gets goosebumps when she’s
around us! We do text each other but the texts are quite mixed… sexual and
caring. I’m so confused and don’t know whether to talk to him about whether
his feelings have changed since our first “chat”. I’m still not 100% sure
if he has truly split up with his ex due to not actually meeting up at
weekends as that should be the best time to have a fb/booty call r’ship. I
just don’t know if we’re both on the same page and both have feelings
for each other. I don’t want to appear too emotional in case he doesn’t
feel that way but also don’t want to shut off completely if he does??!!
Please please help!


So confused!

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Breaking Up »

[25 Oct 2011 | 2 Comments | ]

Why after a terrible break up, my ex won’t leave me alone? I have asked him
to stop texting me, to stop commenting on my facebook etc… Finally after
texting me and me texting him back I told him that I loved him and that I
wanted to be with him, and it was all or nothing with me. I asked him if it
was all? he said no. I stated then we were nothing then. Then he became a
little mean and started stating that at least we agreed on one thing!! I
don’t get it? one moment he says “you will never know how much I miss you”
and the next he is just not so nice!! Any advice?? I’m lost, because my
feelings for him are huge!! Please help!

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Relationship Tips »

[18 Oct 2011 | 2 Comments | ]

5 years ago, I met a guy and we got along quite well. After we met, we only
had contact with eachother by webcam, ‘cuz we didn’t live really nearby.
We talked almost everynight but since I felt like it was leading nowhere,
and I was very young and full of hormones(16); I started seeing another boy.
But when I met up with the first guy(A) he was very flirtatious with me, I
had almost gone too far with him, but then he told me that my boyfriend
wouldn’t like that’

after a year I broke up with that boyfriend and after some months me and A
met up, for sex. We agreed it was only sex.

after that I had some short relationships; and one (that recently ended) of
2years. During that relationship; I had seen A couple of times. one time at
a festival, we went for a walk outside the festival area; we talked; and he
gave clear, very clear (as if he just said it xD) that he wanted to have
sex. after a long discussion (and a fight with my innerself, ‘cuz i did find
him really attractive) I told him that he couldn’t always ask this from me,
when I’m in a relationship. You see, we talked about the fact that it was
only sex, he made it clear when he was talking about life in general that he
wanted to enjoy his youth and didn’t feel like a relationship. But still he
made the habbit of asking certain attention when I was in a relationship.
That night, I told him he couldn’t do that anymore, ‘cuz it’d make me wonder
about stuff for the next couple of months again. He answered that he knew I
wouldn’t, and that I would just move on again after this, just like I always
do. And then he refered to times when that happened according to him.
after that we still had contact by sms, about random things.

a while ago, I broke up with my boyfriend. And I have been thinking about
hooking up with A again. He is not giving me completely the cold shoulder,
it’s more with ups and downs.

Another thing that seems important here to me now is: when my ex-boyfriend
and I decided to live together, he gave some sarcastic comments.

Could it be that A is mad at me for not ‘waiting’ for him for all these
years? And wouldn’t that be quite silly, ‘cuz he clearly told me at the time
we had sex that was all he wanted.
I’ve been wondering about this a lot, a friend of mine says it’s likely, ‘cuz
I was A’s first bed partner. I on the other hand thought it might not be
such a big deal for boys.

whenever I ask A for clarity about this, he hides behind jokes and allusions
on having sex. I’m 20 now, this has been going on for 5 years; the men of
whom I asked their opinions have always been friends of mine, so I think
they might not be completely honest with me.

So please, an objective opinion on this.

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Relationship Tips »

[15 Oct 2011 | No Comment | ]

Friends with benefits come and go and there usually isn’t too much emotional attachment involved. You sleep together, you may be seen in public once in a while, and the sex is usually crazy fun. Then you get a girlfriend and you really like her and for a change you begin to care about this girl’s opinions and what she is doing when she is not with you. The emotions are there and so is the support if you ever need it, but something may be missing. The sex isn’t as fun. “Why?” you wonder. She’s beautiful, you like her, and you two should be having the craziest sex of your lives together. It all depends on how you treat her in the bedroom. The way you treat her in public and the way you treat her in the bedroom shouldn’t be the same at all, it should be quite opposite in fact. Read the rest of this entry »

General Advice »

[6 Oct 2011 | One Comment | ]

So, I used to be fuck buddies with this guy for about a couple months. Let’s
see, originally, we were going to try to date but I started acting crazy and
super insecure. It’s just not me, at all. So, we stopped having sex for a
while, honestly, we’ve hung out more than we’ve had sex. Anyway, am I over
reading this? He always takes care of me when I cry, no other girl, or gets
into fights with other guys who are treating me wrong. And he always says,
“I really, really care about you” he used to tell me how much he really
liked me but it has all stopped before. Maybe because I told him that I’ve
never liked him and all I wanted to do was to have sex. He got mad and
stopped talking to me for about a month and half. I feel like he does like
me like that and has stopped short a month ago telling me that he has
thought about dating me and at one point, he did like me like that but at
this point of his life he didn’t. Mostly because he started talking to his
long term ex girlfriend and of course, it didn’t work out. On occasion, his
good friends pull me aside and tell me how much I’ve hurt him, if I could
grow up then I could have him but at this point of my life, i do not deserve
him. Anyway, so, we stopped talking when he started talking to his ex and he
started talking to me again but unlike the original times since i’ve lied
and said i didn’t like him or care about him, he started actually talking to
me. Like trying to be my friend, inquiring me about my day, wondering what
I’ve been up to, I mean, I know maybe he’s transferring his feelings for his
ex towards me and I do not want to be the rebound. I want to date him and
we haven’t had sex for about a month, we just hang out or text each other.
Do I have any future in this? I want to date him, I have feelings for him
(which is why I stopped having sex with him so he could sort himself out
with his ex) and I believe we could be a good couple. I’ve taken time to
grow the hell up and he’s obviously trying to be in the right place. I do
believe it’ll take some time but I’ll do anything to date him. Or maybe I’m
just a friend right? I don’t know.

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Breaking Up »

[29 Sep 2011 | 2 Comments | ]

Hi there Robby,

I’m so happy I came across your site. My problem is with the guy I’ve been
seeing for more than 2 years. When I met him, all he asked from me
was just to have “fun sex” and I was “game” with it. It was ok at first but
then, after a while I start to get jealous with women in his it
women he texts or women he had pictures with. I started asking questions to
clarify if he was married or have a gf or if he’s in any kind of
relationship. He gave me vague answers at first then later on, he would say
“no, im not in a relationship.” Despite him saying that, I did not lose
hope that he would eventually be my bf someday. At the same time, I try to
go out with other guys since I understand he never said a thing about “us”
or our status. Time came when I was really fed up about him not calling or
texting me sometimes and only contact me whenever he felt like doing it. So I
decided to just end whatever connection we had coz I was already heartbroken
and I know whatever we had was going nowhere. We hadn’t had any sort of
communication for a few months. Even if he sends text message, I ignore it
because I want to end my heartbreak. After 9 months or so, he texted me to
greet me merry xmas and then later on, he was trying to have me back again
for no other reason than sex. I already had the courage to say “NO” and told
him that I want real relationship and not just sex. I even added that if you
can’t give me the relationship I want, it’s perfectly fine with me as I was
ready to find someone new at that time. After a couple of months, he texted
me again wanting me back for the same reason but of course I still said no.
A couple of months later, I found out that he’s already married with a baby
and that his wife gave birth a couple of months before he texted me again
for xmas. Well, his wife is really pretty and sexy and I should say prettier
and sexier than me but I don’t understand why he still wants to have sex
with me. Any thoughts? Sorry if this was too long but I’d like to hear your
thoughts about this. Thanks!

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Relationship Tips »

[28 Sep 2011 | No Comment | ]

Robby G,

Hey. My girlfriend dumped me because I have been treating her like shit for
the last few months. The thing is I was not in the right frame of mind. I
was suspended from work due to false allegations made by another officer(I
work in a jail). I was off for 4 months and those 4 months I hit rock
bottom. I drank smoked a lot of pot and took a lot of sleeping pills and she
was the only one around and I took all my frustrations out on her without
really knowing I was doing it, she was just the only one around for me. The
final straw was that she saw I had emailed my old girlfriend to meet up. I
told her that it was nothing at all, and it really wasn’t. I had wanted to
meet her and tell her there is no reason to talk at all anymore because all
of our stuff we had (car ownership, banks stuff etc..) was dealt with. But
finding a email like that is brutal. I understand this. I never cheated on
her though. I did try to juggle a lot of bullshit at one time and used
alcohol and drugs to deal with all of my problems and it blew up. I just
found out I was cleared of all allegations!!! (My ex and I work together as
well) It’s going to be fucked up to work together. But I don’t know if
there is any chance of us getting back. She’s up and down and now says she
doesn’t really want to talk. I’m trying to get back to normal and feel
like I am a little bit more logical. But this whole work thing changed me as
a person. It was a serious thing. I work at a jail so false allegations like
this can ruin your career. Anyways. Besides the few months of me going
crazy, we had a awesome relationship. We both connected on a level that we
both thought was perfect. The sex was amazing, the way we cuddled everything,
shopping etc…! I need to know some advice on how to get her back or to
move on. Is there a chance? And if so how do I get her back without fucking
it up? If there is even a chance. Its been 3 weeks since we broke up. I’m
going crazy. Help a brother out.

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