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Persistent No More

7 February 2011 One Comment

Hi. This weekend I met this guy from out of town. During the few hours I
spend with him he showered me with compliments and even going as far as to
ask if I would consider being his girlfriend. I am not naive or stupid. I
point blank told him he needed to cool it and could we just please see if we
are compatible. The whole time, in the back of my head I’m thinking he is
just trying to get in my pants. I tell him, this is not going to happen.
He insists he just wants to go slow, visit each other and see where it goes.
Now, mind you, I am still suspicious but I am trying not to be the jaded,
cynical bitch that I have seen so many good women turn into. He goes home
and I have not heard one word from him except to say he made it home
alright. WTF?! My question is, why would a guy go through all that
trouble, two days worth of convincing me he is a good guy and I should give
him a chance?

It actually happens often with a lot of guys that they get extremely fond of a girl and pursue her with a lot of ambition, and then out of the blue they just don’t follow through and give up completely. If you’d like to know why a man would do such a thing, well there are a lot of reasons, but the major ones fall into the following categories.

Saw No Prospect

A lot of the time the guy just flatly gives up on trying to push the girl to go out with him and get with her because he feels like it will not lead to anything he is willing to put time into at the moment. If he’s not keen on having a girlfriend and just wants a girl to sleep around with and he feels he has put in quite some work into it already and there is no return, then he will just give up and move on believing he will find someone else, or that the girl herself is interested in something besides sleeping around. Also, if he notices that the girl isn’t showing the same sort of interest in him as he is showing her, then he may take that as a hint that she is not keen on developing their “relationship” any further and he moves on to try and find someone new. It’s as if he takes his losses and moves on, because he feels like she is not fully interested in him but is only acting nice when she responds to his texts or calls.

Found New Interest

There’s always that possibility that he found someone that he feels it would be more fun pursuing. Perhaps someone who is as responsive as he anticipated the initial girl to be like. Being responsive and not tagging the man along is very important when two people just meet. Because even though a girl or a man may say one thing, they may act completely different, and that’s not because they want to hurt the other person and that they are deceptive, but in fact it’s because they DON’T want to hurt this new person in their life. We feel like if we don’t act cordial in accordance with another’s emotions and play along, then they may get the impression that we are not nice or hard to getting along with. So it is only due to trying to get oneself to be liked by the other that we act conforming. And if he did not feel that similar affection from you then it may have given him reason to seek out someone new and see if they are more interested. And if he did find someone new who he feels a bigger connection with then it just may be that he is trying to pursue and date her rather than spend time attempting to get with you. I know from experience that when you meet someone one day and you make certain impressions on her that she expects you to follow through and be that same type of person the next day, when in fact a lot of the time you only present to the person you’ve just met the side of you that is nice and suitable.

Give Me a Minute

There’s of course that possibility that he’s just been busy and hasn’t had time to be as prompt with his calls or messages. Even though you two hit it off well and he would want to continue seeing you, he may just have somethings come up that makes him unable to be as pursuant. Also, because he has known you for a short period of time, he does not want to explain to you that he has been busy due to personal things, since that tends to stir up more questions that he may not be ready to express to you yet. Most times if the man liked the girl, however, it won’t matter how busy he is, he will find a moment out of the day to still message her. However, he may also be trying to not seem desperate and that is why he is acting busy just to show that he has a life and he isn’t infatuated with a girl he has only met recently.

My suggestion is to actually message him yourself and you will see how overjoyed he will be to hear from you. A lot of the time the reason is very simple and it’s usually that the man feels like the girl is trying to blow him off when she doesn’t show as much interest in him as the first time they met. If she doesn’t answer calls or takes long to answer texts, it’s a very big blow to their ego and they feel like she doesn’t really want to spend time with them. So if you do give him a call, it will not make him think that you’re the desperate one, but it will just show that you are in fact interested in having him to continue to pursue you.

One Comment »

  • givejonadollar said:

    I think it’s because, like most jaded, pompous girls, you scared him off by assuming all he wanted to do is “get in your pants”.

    Sex is a two way street. Grow up.

    Many a good guy is lost because of women like you.

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