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Pursued by a Married Man

29 September 2011 2 Comments

Hi there Robby,

I’m so happy I came across your site. My problem is with the guy I’ve been
seeing for more than 2 years. When I met him, all he asked from me
was just to have “fun sex” and I was “game” with it. It was ok at first but
then, after a while I start to get jealous with women in his phone..be it
women he texts or women he had pictures with. I started asking questions to
clarify if he was married or have a gf or if he’s in any kind of
relationship. He gave me vague answers at first then later on, he would say
“no, im not in a relationship.” Despite him saying that, I did not lose
hope that he would eventually be my bf someday. At the same time, I try to
go out with other guys since I understand he never said a thing about “us”
or our status. Time came when I was really fed up about him not calling or
texting me sometimes and only contact me whenever he felt like doing it. So I
decided to just end whatever connection we had coz I was already heartbroken
and I know whatever we had was going nowhere. We hadn’t had any sort of
communication for a few months. Even if he sends text message, I ignore it
because I want to end my heartbreak. After 9 months or so, he texted me to
greet me merry xmas and then later on, he was trying to have me back again
for no other reason than sex. I already had the courage to say “NO” and told
him that I want real relationship and not just sex. I even added that if you
can’t give me the relationship I want, it’s perfectly fine with me as I was
ready to find someone new at that time. After a couple of months, he texted
me again wanting me back for the same reason but of course I still said no.
A couple of months later, I found out that he’s already married with a baby
and that his wife gave birth a couple of months before he texted me again
for xmas. Well, his wife is really pretty and sexy and I should say prettier
and sexier than me but I don’t understand why he still wants to have sex
with me. Any thoughts? Sorry if this was too long but I’d like to hear your
thoughts about this. Thanks!

To give you a straight forward answer as to why he would want to continue trying to get you back for sex even though he is married already, and as you mentioned, to someone sexier than you is because he really enjoyed the sex you two had. I’m sure you know yourself that sex with one person can be incredible while with another partner (no matter how good looking) it can simply be bland. He may have thought that the woman he married was better suited to him as a wife, or maybe there were external pressures that neither you nor I know of that may have had an impact; yet he finds you irresistible when it comes to the sexual chemistry you two shared.

He broke your heart and did not text you for a quite a while until it he organized his own relations and put everything in order. And when he did finally message you it was for sex once again rather than anything serious. Now, especially he was unable to start anything serious due to his wife and kid, which also makes me wonder if he had this woman who he has had his kid with for all this time that he knew you. I’d suggest that the best thing for you to do in this situation is to move on and completely cut your ties with him. When I was in a similar situations that included taken women, you must always weigh the options and see if it is really worth going through that extra difficulty to try and get them to be completely yours while living with the fact that you’ve ruined their past relationship. And when it comes to taken men or women with kids it’s just simply to move away. If he is being so adamant about getting you back and will not want anything less than that, like a simple friendly relationship, then it’s key to even stop answering to his texts. It will only lead to you getting warped back into your old feelings you have had for him. There’s really nothing much more to say except for taking this experience and learning from it and moving on with your life.


  • jocee said:

    Hey Robby thank you for your advice. Coincidentally though, I did what you exactly said even before i read it (had completely cut ties with him)…and I’m very happy with my new love right now… ☺

  • Robby G (author) said:

    @Jocee: Very glad things are working out for you. Sorry again that it took a while to answer the question, but at least in retrospect it worked 🙂

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