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Reassure Him that You’re the One for Him

26 January 2010 3 Comments

My ex boyfriend and I were dating on & off for a little over three years.
Throughout our relationship we had the best times of our lives but also
struggled through many rough patches. I cheated on him, months later he
cheated on me, and I cheated on him again which pretty much ended the
relationship for good. Losing him made me realize how much I really do love
him. He recently told me that he still loves me but we haven’t been quite
able to rekindle our relationship. We’re friends now and I’m trying to get
him back but he’s “not sure” if he wants a relationship with me, he says he
wants to be my fuck buddy with commitment…whatever that means? At this
point I’m pretty much just going crazy and I’m in desperate need of

“Fuck buddy…with commitment”? Never heard of that before, but to me that sounds like he wants to get back together with you on the basis that you’ll sleep together and even date (which is where the commitment comes in) but you’ll still be allowed to sleep around with other people. Though your past is filled with unfaithfulness, it may be difficult to rekindle your relationship, as you said, but I must say that the passing of time cures everything. Just like a broken heart can be fixed over time so can a relationship that had lulls of disloyalty. Because he is willing to give you a chance and that you seem to sincerely love him and want to do good by him then it is really in your hands to get him back fully.

Where Should You Start?

Cut the bullshit and do all you can to prove to him that you have changed and are willing to right the wrongs that you may have committed in the past. But before getting back into anything serious, you should test him to see if he is really willing to leave the past in the past and move forward only with what you have now at this moment. Because if one person keeps a grudge about you previously cheating on him then even time won’t be able to cure that. So once you find out if he is actually sincerely trying to leave the past behind then you can start trying to prove to him that there’s no one else you’d rather be with than him. And how can you find out if he’s ready to move past the previous problems? It’s all in the way he acts when he is around you. Does he ever bring up the fact that you have cheated or does he ever try to use it as a weapon when you two are in an argument? If so then he’s nowhere close to getting over it. But if he doesn’t then he’s either over it or at least trying his best to forget about some of the bad times that you shared. Also, if you’re ever reminiscing on the past 3 years of your relationship, make sure to bring up only the good things.

Easy Does It

You’re in a great position right now and shouldn’t stress too much because the ball is in your court. He told you he loves you and he wants to slowly rebuild the relationship. As I said, it will take time but if neither of you make the same mistakes as before then it should be smooth sailing. Be happy that the man you love hasn’t completely left you and that you are together again and take it one step at a time. If you’ve read previous posts then you know that labels aren’t a big deal whether you’re boyfriend/girlfriend, just dealing, or whatever else you want to call it, because what only matters is how you act when you’re with each other. If he acts like your boyfriend even though he may call it “fuck buddy with committment” then you can believe it in your heart that he’s your boyfriend and you should return the favor and act like his girlfriend.

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  • Jenny said:

    I advise all women to a) Read “The Power of Now” and b) use what it tells you. I think most relationship “issues” can be solved by focusing on the present rather than constantly basing your future on your past. He said this three days ago, so now I don’t know if he still wants to marry me. Oh, but now he did say that four days ago, so maybe we will get married. What about now.. in month seven of your relationship?

  • Robby G (author) said:

    @Jenny: Hey Jenny thanks for your advice, I’ve never read that book for myself, but the idea of living in the moment and not basing all of your decisions in a relationship on what he might have said or did 3 days ago, or like in this case, years ago, is definitely encouraged.
    PS great to see you here again.

  • Jenny said:

    Hey Robby! Def. check it out, it’s great. I need to stop by to comment more often, but I’ve been reading all along, haha.
    .-= Jenny´s last blog ..Equilibrium is Killing My Coffee =-.

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