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Relationship with an Older Partner

4 May 2010 One Comment

Hi, I’m 20 years old and I’ve been dating a 35-year-old man for a few weeks
now. We are very attracted to each other and all the physical contact has
always been extremely tender and meaningful, but we decided to take things
slow, so for a few months we didn’t speak about having a serious
relationship till a couple of weeks ago. Everything seems right and
strangely perfect, but I keep worrying over the age difference. When we talk
about it, we admit we hardly notice it, but I’m afraid he thinks I’m
emotionally immature for him. (Even though he doesn’t say so, it’s obvious
that our emotional matureness is radically different…) Why begin a
relationship with someone so much older? Perhaps as time passes we’ll
discover we want different things…?


I’ll be perfectly honest and say that if you are happy with what you currently have, do not think about the future. I know this sounds extremely irrational, but based on my experience with an older woman, it was the best year of my life. I was 20 and she was 30 years old and we shared a meaningful and passionate relationship. Though we both ended up hurt because in the end we had different desires from the relationship, it was all worth it in the end.

What to Expect?

One thing I can easily say is that you will learn a lot from this relationship and though now you may not be on his maturity level, this experience will drastically change your outlook on many things. The benefits you will gain from this relationship not only will make you emotionally more mature, but you will understand thing about relationships on a much deeper level. If you end up falling for him deeper than you initial hope for then it may lead to unfortunate heart-break, but I will say it is all worth it. Of course, if it ends faster than anticipated then you still don’t lose anything and only gain more knowledge about life, relationships, and hopefully yourself.

Worry Free Philosophy

You mentioned that everything is smooth sailing currently, but you still have some sort of worry in the back of your mind about the age difference. I will say it right now, do not worry about it at all. I personally was in the worst possible situation when I got into this relationship I mentioned, yet I still went for it and it turned out to be one of the greatest decisions I’ve ever made. You have to look at the bright side of things, and instead of stressing about a minor detail of an age difference, you should look at this relationship as a blessing. Also, if he doesn’t mention that he has a problem with the difference in matureness, it is because that is one of the aspects he likes about you. Now, to answer your two final questions, I’d say the reason to start a relationship with so much older is for experience and more importantly because you are presented with this opportunity to try out something that not many people have a chance at. Most people in their twenties stick to their age group and neither one of the people tend to grow as people, when in this relationship you both benefit. He will be reliving his youth through you and you will mature more rapidly as compared to most of your friends or peers. And though you are right that as time passes you will probably discover you want different things, the mutual respect you will have for each other by the end of it will make you see that it isn’t either of your faults but only the fault of the age difference. As long as you two are open and honest with each other and do not make promises you know you will not be able to keep then you will have yourselves a great time together. I believe that everyone should at least once try a relationship with someone older, because no other relationship can offer as much.

One Comment »

  • Cincin Kawin said:

    At this time I am ready to do my breakfast, once having my breakfast coming again to read more news.


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