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Resolving a Love Triangle

14 October 2009 2 Comments

I’m usually a pessimist and I really suck at the whole girly cosmo reading
mind control thing. Here’s the situation; I really like this guy he’s got
everything I’m looking for, literraly and he and I have pretty much the same
taste in everything and the things I don’t know but always have wanted to
know,(surfing, motorcycles, snowbording, ect.) he can teach me. He and I
have been intimate before and he doesn’t screw a chick he couldn’t be
interested in. This he’s said and his friends have confirmed it on numerous
occasion. He and I talk on the phone for  like 8 hours 5 times a week.
there’s just one lil’ problem…he has a girlfriend and the only reason why
he and I happened is he had permission. He knows I like him and we’ve agreed
that should anything go wrong in that realtionship I’m his go to girl. But I
don’t want him if I’m just a rebound and I really don’t want to lose him as
a friend either. Do I have a chance with him or am I just the fall out
chick?

I have to say that this is a real tough situation you’re in. There’s one guy who you and his girlfriend both like, plus he likes both of you as well. This is a basic love triangle and there can be a lot of different conclusions to this story. So let’s analyze the outs and how you can get what you want at the end of it all. I wouldn’t say you’re the fall out chick if he’s spending so much time talking to you on the phone and I’m sure you hang out sometimes. If you really want him to break up with his girlfriend for you and strictly be with you then you should just continue doing what you’re doing. A suggestion though would be not to continue sleeping with him unless you’ve already stopped doing that. This way you’re showing him that you don’t want a man who will cheat on his girlfriend and then come to you because there is a possibility that if he cheats on his current girlfriend that once he’s with you he will cheat on you too. However, since you said that he had permission during the time you did sleep together than I’ll assume that you don’t sleep together anymore because I don’t understand exactly how his girlfriend would be okay with him sleeping around if they’re actually in a serious relationship.

On The Rebound

As I mentioned, I don’t think he views you as a fall out girl, because usually a man only gets intimate with or really puts time into a rebound girl when he just breaks up or is just about to break up with his girl. In your case it seems that you may be the actual reason for him to break up and if you play it smart enough and get him to like you more than his current girlfriend than it may work to your benefit. Now all you need to question is if you really fully want him to break up with his girlfriend and come for you, because if you’re not willing to take him once he breaks up for you then it can lead to more problems for you, because he will be sacrifising something concrete for something uncertain. If you do want him to jump ship and start a relationship with you then you’ll need to change your game a little.

Friends Will Be Friends

You may be traveling on the brink of the “friend/prospective girlfriend” status and in order not to become just a friend then you’ll have to think what exactly this man needs and is looking for in a girlfriend. But don’t just switch up and start acting like his girlfriend, instead improve on those characterstics he finds appealing, but at the same time be more fun, more outgoing, and more mysterious than his current girlfriend. I think you should just change the way you view this whole situation and instead of being pessimistic, embrace the whole idea. It may feel like a much bigger accomplishment once you get him to start going out with you over his current girlfriend and don’t think of yourself as a fall out chick because that whole doubting thing you may be doing will most likely work against you. But at the same time don’t limit yourself to this one guy, because if it doesn’t work out you may get hurt in the end. Keep your options open but don’t forget to play along with him and just remember to enjoy the time you have being single.

2 Comments »

  • Carla said:

    this is a difficult situation, but I think Robby gave some good advice on this one. Now it’s really upto you how you play it right. I wish you luck. If I was in your shoes however I would most likely move on. That’s my 2 cents though.

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @Carla: Thanks for your input. In this situation walking away is definitely easiest but sometimes ends up being the hardest on the heart. She really needs to think about the outs on this one.

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