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She Put Salt on the Wound

4 October 2009 4 Comments

somebody save me
You love someone, you would do anything for that person, and one day you two can’t be together anymore. There are a variety of reasons people break-up. One stopped loving the other, some people got in the way, distance separating the two lovers, or a mixture of any two or more things. But what if, let’s say, you’re still in love, and you fully believe that she loves you as well. What if you believe that this break-up or time apart is just a short inconvenience between now and the time you’ll be together again and living a life of happily ever after. That hope feels like it’s the only thing holding you together and giving you the desire to keep going. Even though she tells you that this relationship can’t work out, she calls you sometimes and returns your infrequent calls, and re-ignites that hope in your heart once again. Even though you may be clasified as “single”, you know that inside you don’t feel single. That she thinks about you just as much as you think about her. And when other girls ask you if you have a girlfriend, there’s always a hesitation in between your answer, and her image comes to mind. It’s difficult for you to flirt with other women, it’s difficult for you to have fun with other women, and it’s difficult for you to think about taking things to a next level with other women just because you may have some guilt. Then you analyze that guilt and realize there isn’t anything you should feel guilty about since you’re single, but sometimes that doesn’t justify anything and you hope that since you’re feeling the guilt that she would be feeling the guilt as well. And then she or someone you know hits you with the news.

There’s Someone Else

Someone else? How could there possibly be someone else? She told you she loved you and even when you were breaking up she didn’t really cut the ties with you. You thought that this was just a short break-up and that you’ll be back together again in no time. And out of nowhere this new man comes to take your spot. The wound of the heart wasn’t healed yet and she comes out with this statement and that statement acts as a hefty sum of salt sprayed all over your broken heart. What do you do now? Have you ever felt this in life and didn’t know what to do? Well, there are two difficult ways of handling this. I’ll say this right now, there’s never an easy way of handling the discovery that the one you love has found herself a new man who she tells you she has grown to love.

“How and when?” is the first thought that enters the mind. How could she love another after what you two shared, and when the fuck did she have the time to find another man. Was it while you were thinking about her and she was out partying and hooking up with guys? Then you need to compromise that thought and really raise your self-esteem. This salt on the wound destroys that glimmer of hope I mentioned and there’s nothing else to grab onto… for now.

The Weak Way

To those who say that it’s all a process, I think that this is only true in parts. Because even though it’s a process going from weak to strong, you have the power to push through and make the “weak way” of handling this discovery go by much faster. The weak way is composed of complete self-destruction of confidence, desire, and anything that once kept you going. You may begin to drink, search through photos and memories, listen to the blues, and do all that other shit you see in movies, but the faster you go through this the better. I don’t want to spend too much time on this because this part of the process is just your own battle with yourself and that includes the worst thing you thought possible mixed with hating yourself for seeming so weak.

The Strong Way

Once you realize your foolishness and weakness, it’s time to rebuild yourself. Many times this includes having a total different outlook on women, but sometimes it also includes an embrace. An embrace of what exactly? Well, an embrace of your life as complete and utter free man. You don’t need to think about her at all anymore, you don’t need to think whether she’s as miserable as you, and you don’t ever again need to feel guilt for having fun with other women. You need to get your priorities straight and also have to enjoy your life. Remember that women are as I said, “experienced, vile minxes” and you must treat them as such, never forgeting that this whole conception of love is just a cliché of bullshit and lost hope. Go forward with life and have fun with as many women as you can, focus on the bigger goals in life, and never think back on the “what ifs”.


  • Karolina said:

    Great post! Very insightful and I think that this can apply to women as well. Break ups are difficult and there are many ways to get through the healing process, but this seems to be the most efficient way to do it without falling apart.
    You should start making your website unisex! Women need this advice just as much, if not more than men.

  • Robby G (author) said:

    @Karolina: You’re right, I really should make it unisex, and it is in many ways, because I get many dating question from women that I answer. Anywho, glad you enjoyed the post.

  • T said:

    I vote for ’embrace your life as an utter free man.
    Or a clutter free man.
    Cleaning the house can be like therapy.
    And it’ll prove that all of the things she said about you, you’re lazy, fat, a loser, were wrong.

  • Disha said:

    Thanks for this post!!!

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