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Should I Expect his Call?

1 May 2010 8 Comments

Robby,

I’m new to being a fuck buddy so I need your advice.

I met a married man – I’m married also – with whom I have NSA, FB sex. His
schedule is much busier than mine, so I told him to just call whenever he
had time to get together.

He lives about 40 miles from me and I go to him because he doesn’t have time
to travel.
I’ve seen him a couple of times and would like to see him again. I at least
understand that there are no set time limits – could be a week, could be 6
months, but I’m wondering… in your experience, do you think he’ll be back?
I do, but I’m not a man and I’ve never done this before. He gets free sex
whenever he calls and I come to him. I think he should pinch himself to make
sure he’s awake!

So I guess if I had to boil it down to a question, it would be: I know I may
never hear from him again, but just because a long time goes by doesn’t mean
I won’t, yes?

Thanks, Liz


A lack of color
It really depends on a few elements. Essentially you most likely will hear from him and just because he doesn’t contact you often doesn’t mean that he enjoys the fuck buddy relationship you share. It’s just he and you are both married and he knows that he cannot reach out to you too often just so neither of you get too attached, because that can lead to obvious problems. Also, you have to take into consideration that he is busy and he has priorities and certain things to look out for to keep everything hidden and so no one gets suspicious.

To answer your question though, then I would say that simply because of the complications of your relationship (both married, distance, etc) it may take time for him to reach out and want to see you again, but of course that doesn’t mean that it will never happen. Just my advice would be to not hold your breath and look at the situation in a very logical fashion. Though his situation may seem unreal in the sense that a woman is willing to travel to his place to sleep with him with no strings attached while he is still married, you must not think that it is as good as it seems. He definitely has things on his mind that are stressful and that he himself is most likely worried that this situation can go from being the greatest thing to one of the worst things. It is crucial that he understands that there is no chance between the two of you for anything serious and neither of you are willing to leave their partners for each other, unless of course you talk about it and are in fact willing to make that leap. Either way though, do not think too much of it and I think you’ll hear from him when he is ready, otherwise if you really want then you can call him and see how he responds to it. If he is cold and distant or tells you he will call you back and doesn’t then he most likely wants to quit what you have and split on good terms, but if he’s happy to hear from you then he will want to see you again.

Try out by calling and picking up on any hints and then you’ll see what his intentions are. Or you can just wait and see if he calls, but just don’t think about it too much.

8 Comments »

  • Liz said:

    Those are some things I didn’t think about. Great answer, thanks! Liz

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @Liz: That’s why I’m here. Wish you all the best. 😀

    Reply to Comment

  • Liz said:

    Hi Robby, you were right! He did call eventually. I think you hit the nail on the head: he is very busy and then there’s the distance thing, and I think he wants to more often, but just can’t. I totally get it! However, whenever we talk, he always asks if I’m fucking other guys. (I never ask if he’s fucking other women) My friend said it’s because guys always want to think they’re the only one – even though he’s married and could be fucking others – or perhaps he’s turned on by the thought. What do you think?

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @Liz: I don’t think he’s turned on by the thought, I think your friend is right that he wants to be the only one besides your husband. Just continue what you’re doing and it should work out fine. If you’d like you can email me a testimonial if my advice were helpful. Again, I hope it continues well.

    Reply to Comment

    Liz Reply:

    It’s me again! This happened about 3 1/2 months ago: I told him my birthday was coming up and that I wanted to get together. He said that was fine and I told him to contact me when he had time. We communicate by email only. I don’t call him unless he says to. 3 months went by and I didn’t hear anything from him. I emailed him again and asked if he was still even interested. He said he’s get back to me soon – I assume that meant he couldn’t talk right then, but I wasn’t going to wait another 3 months. I told him it was all good, he’s got my number and just contact me when he’s ready. He said OK and “thanks for thinking about me”. I know he’s man enough to tell me “I’m not interested anymore”, and since he didn’t say that, here’s what I got out of that: “I can’t really get together much anymore, but I’d like to keep your number in my contact list in case my situation doesn’t work out. Glad you’re willing to still play” or I could be so wrong about it – that’s why I need you! 😉

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @Liz: Sounds about right. I think he will call only if he’s really in a situation where he is really interested in calling. What I mean by that is I wouldn’t have my fingers crossed at this moment. He’s just glad that you’re still game and if the situation comes up when he wants to hook up again he’ll call you up.

    Reply to Comment

  • Gerry said:

    If you’re reading this, you’re all set, paerndr!

    Reply to Comment

  • simi said:

    Hi,
    My situation is very very similar.To back to starting point-When i started working i was married with a kid. I was attracted to a person in my office who was unmarried. He was also interested but after some exchanges he withdrew. I came to know from mutual friend he is afraid it might harm my marriage. He got relocated got married and had a kid. we were on and off in touch being friends.After 5years he contacted me showing interest more than a friend. He told me he want to fb relationship. After 3 months of dating and getting little intimate I agreed. We went out for a weekend. After that i came to know he was more of emotionally unavailable guy who wanted to have more space. He said he needs lot of time post such encounters and wld be contacting me and i shldn’t call him. I didnt call him and after a week he messaged for sex. I agreed thinking i will question him but he evaded questions saying he will always need lot of space and time post such meetings. After 3 months and few such encounters he reloacted. I was aware and had been discussing that long distance will work or not.He said he will make it work. During these 3 months not to forget communication is sparse and he had blocked my number also. Communication only when he felt so which was very rare. Only i used to contact him to call me.
    Before he moved i had booked my flight for meeting him at new place of-course after he suggested it.
    This relationship tired me as i wanted more from it kind of good friends who are in regular touch. I felt he was more in touch with me when i was just friend.
    I had too much to drink and created scene in the room saying he is insensitive and i get negative vibe etc. The reason he doesnt like cuddling etc and i had asked to keep my head over his shoulder which he removed. I refused to have dinner and cldn’t sleep due to alcohol and food. In the night i packed my bags and was going sneakily when he got up and he shouted on me what i was doing going out like this. He said if i go it will end everything. I was not thinking straight and was very emotional. I think i created unnecessary drama.
    I apologized next day but he was aloof,even though he said it is okay.I apologised many times he said its okay but didnt discuss anything.
    After i came back he was in touch as sporadically as he used to be always saying he is not talkative person or doesnt want to have too much communication or expectation.
    I tried calling one day and came to know he had blocked me. I contacted him with my friends phone asking why he blocked me fro no rhyme or reason. He said he needs lot of time and space.
    After 5-6 days he contacted me saying he is changing his number and will be travelling soon out of country for 15days (which i came to know to be true). He didnt share his new number with me. When i wrote a mail he replied after 2days said he just saw it and he doesnt ahve nay number and wont take a number till he is back from the trip. I think all this is story so wrote to him why he making stories and he shld be honest with me and not make me feel low with silence treatment.
    He said he was not too happy with my behaviour so needs to rethink plus he has asked for space like mature people but if no number iam mailing him. He said no expectations thats what he said initially.
    He wants time and till than will be just friends. (Mind you guys he didnt share his number eventhough i wrote in the mail to be decent to contact me).
    I wrote that i was contacting him because he thinks iam fool and i never venutred too much in his space.(I contacted him once a week).
    He wrote back saying- he had enough and I dont get the point.He wont be writing back to me. Hopefully this is what i want
    i wrote to him- I never wanted breakup but if he wants he can let me know and i will never contact him.
    He said he wants time till Dec. Say yes or no
    I of course said yes.

    My query-I know he is unemotional and not attached. But blocking of numbers,time till dec etc. What does this means and what shld i do next. How to tackle it in mature way.
    I can walk away but its painful. I am too physically attracted to him. Mind you we tried 5-6yrs back but after so many years it worked but
    Guidance pls

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