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Shy Fuck Buddies Want Love Too

19 January 2010 4 Comments

So I am recently divorced and have been single for over a year now. I’ve
known this guy (my fb) for about 3 yrs and just this halloween we slept
together. And have been ever since, we both say that we don’t want a
relationship but act different. The sex isn’t like a normal “fuck”. Its
almost like we make love. I want more but not really sure how to approach it
cuz we realy don’t talk about the relationship thing! He treats me like I’m
more than a fb. He’s shy just like I am and for him to ask me to come
over…well it just doesn’t happen. If I’m at his house with other mutual
friends (his roomates) and he’s not there..well its like he wants me to wait
for him and if I don’t I get txts from him that say “just got home”…
Please help..I’ve read the rules of fb relationships and it so doenst fit
what’s goin on with me and him! Help??!!


Shy Man
I’m happy that you mentioned that he’s a shy guy, because that changes a lot in how you can approach this situation. You also said that you want more than just a fuck buddy. The truth is, though he is texting you or you may feel like it is more than just the sex for him, there are two ways of looking at this. Though it may seem like you’re not just “fucking” but are actually making love, he may just be a passionate lover and good at it and that makes you feel like there’s something more to it than just plain sex. Also, the texts that he sends you telling you that he’s home or checking up on you once in a while may just be his way of keeping you interested instead of letting you fully go and seek other men who are willing to offer a long-term relationship. Now, though I say all this and state that it may just be his way of continuing to sleep with you without any real attachments, we have to keep in mind that he’s a shy man, and I’ve noticed through experience that shy people are generally not into the whole “player” scene as much as men who seem to be more sly in their speach and more open with their actions. Though I may be generalising here, this is what I’ve seen over time and I can easily say that when a shy man gets with a woman he likes, he acts with a little bit of insecurity and tries to avoid any talk of relationships and if something is going well then they try to continue with what they have without really pursuing any further actions with fear of rejection.

I would say that you should really go with what your instinct tells you on this one. If you believe that he is actually interested in you more than just as a fuck buddy then that’s exactly how it is. Since it is difficult for him to express it outright to you, he uses little tactics such as texting you when he gets home or for example asks you to sleep over after sex as means to hint at the fact that he is interested in you. And though I personally don’t like it when my fuck buddy begins talking about relationships, because I make it quite clear from the start that there isn’t anything serious between us, shy men enjoy it when the woman expresses to them what is exactly on her mind. So if your instinct on this one is telling you that he is interested in you as something more than just a fuck buddy then go with that gut feeling and bring up the subject. Say that overtime you’ve grown to enjoy spending time with him and think you’d like to turn it into a relationship. Add that you’re willing to take it slow, but you just wanted to get it out there that you want to make things exclusive. I can almost guarantee that this will put a big smile on his face and he’ll agree. Please try that out and I would love to hear an update on this. I wish you all the best. Cheers!


  • Carl said:

    Wow Robby you really got this whole figured out. This advice sounds like it can work out. Another nice advice post.

  • Robby G (author) said:

    @Carl: Thank you for the kind words.

  • Savannah said:

    Shy guys are really different when it comes to the game, I agree. This is a very well put post and really hits the nail on the head I think. Robby I’m coming to you for any future advice.

  • Robby G (author) said:

    @Savannah: Come and ask anytime, I’ll be happy to share my knowledge!

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