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Single and Satisfied, But Still Open for Business

10 April 2010 No Comment

I have been enjoying being single lately, but the other weekend all of that
changed…. I met this boy at a party and we just hit it off he walked me
home like a gentleman and came inside to have a drink. He ended up staying
the night and it was extremely pleasant and PG. It seems to be going well,
but I can’t seem to get the negativity out of my head. What steps should I
take to avoid looking clingy, or too interested. Should I just get over it?


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This is an interesting question that is quite different from what I usually get. Your main issue seems to be whether or not being single is better than being together with someone you seem to like. Though you were enjoying being single, you feel like you have met someone who you can feel better with if you begin dating him rather than staying single, yet you are uncertain to how to approach this subject with him without looking too desperate.

You Are Not Desperate

Remember the fact that you’re actually not desperate. If you were desperate than you would feel miserable if you were single, yet you seem to prefer single life almost as much as being in a relationship. So mainly, you should keep that in mind and not care too much whether or not it will work out with you two, but of course do not just give up without trying. The ones who act clingy are usually the ones who either have no experience with dating or those who simply cannot be left alone and always require a partner to constantly be there with them and feel they need to be in control of their partner. Defeating this is simple, especially when you are not the type to require constant attention and are okay with being single. Acting like friends instead of partners can help you find the balance in the beginning, and after sometime you may want to take your friendship to the next level and implement sexual affection.

Is He Worth it?

Relationships are there to satisfy a specific need, which is emotional support. If your main drive to get into a relationship is sex then you should reassess your needs, because sex can be satisfied by a mere fuck-buddy. If you are looking for emotional support, however, and be with someone you like and think will understand you then you should look for a formal relationship. In your case, you are satisfied being single, but now that you felt a spark with this new guy you feel like being with him may elevate your mood and life, overall. So if you are ready to try out a relationship with him, then you should approach the situation in that way. In the beginning do not seek for an indeffinite connection and give some time to get to know him better, but that can only be done by spending time with him and revealing yourself to him little by little. People, naturally, are afraid to get to know everything about a person too fast, so it is crucial to be moderate and gradual in how you show him your true self.

You must realize that he did spend the night and that does mean something. The thing about every person is that they are usually not as certain as they may seem about other people and they too feel insecurities when it comes to questions of love and relationships. So keep that in mind when talking to him and know that he is also questioning your motives and has questions for himself in what should be the right moves for him to make. Try asking him out and take it slow. Read his intentions and play off of them. I think depending on whether or not he will seem suitable for you or not throughout those dates will allow you to make the right final decision.


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