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Sleeping with a Co-Worker

10 February 2010 2 Comments

I’ve been seeing this guy for 6 months. We used to work together I met him
on my first day and we had an instant connection. We worked for long hrs
alone for a whole week
And soon enough we were going out together in secret,we didn’t have sex for
a while like a month but I aslept over his house n we always messed around.
He was always texting
Me and telling me how amazing I was then we finally had sex but the boss
suspected about us and threatened both of us with our jobs so we decided to
stop it for a while but
Coudnt do it and we started basically just having sex acasionally and no
longer go out or do any of the things we used to do and I told him I didn’t
want to be just fuck buddies
But I didn’t stay away so we are still just fuck buddies but I’m falling
for him really bad and I don’t know what to do and how I can get him to feel
the same for me and maybe
We can be together. please help me with some advice.


If you want him to be something more serious than just a fuck buddy then you should talk directly with him about it. The problem that may arise is that he may be worried that if you two become a coule then you both become vulnerable for the boss finding out and that may pose problems on your jobs. Sleeping with co-workers isn’t always the best idea, though I have done it in the past myself. If I knew it wouldn’t turn into anything serious then I would continue with the fuck buddy relationship, however because you have began to like him more than that then it becomes a question of what you value you more and are you certain about his interest in you.

Have Your Pick

You really need to assess what you value more in this situation, your job or your relationship. Nonetheless, even if you choose the man over your job, because your boss will fire you if you continue seeing him, you must still take into account that he is also being threatened by the boss. This means that he may not be definite about what he values more and be as certain about the situation as yourself. So in order for your relationship with him to work, you really have to have a serious conversation with him. Forget the bullshit, forget the smooth gameplan, forget the fun, and address all the right questions when you’re talking to him about your situation. You said that you have been going out steady for a month before your boss imposed on your relationship, so you certainly must be on some sort of open communication basis by now. Speak frankly with him and ask what he wants out of the relationship, and really think about what you really want with it and if you are ready to lose your job for him if it comes to it.

There are however some basic things you must remember when you approach the subject: Don’t be too forward and formal when you discuss the serious subject. Make sure he feels comfortable about talking about the future of your relationship by not making it seem like an interrogation. Ask him what he thinks about the whole situation and what how he thinks you guys should handle it. And limit him to how he can answer by saying something like, “We have our options here, but I don’t want this to just be a fuck-buddy relationship and think it should either be something a little more formal or nothing at all. It’s really up to you.” That should make him really think about what he wants and know that there are something he cannot choose because you put some ground rules down.

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2 Comments »

  • Jackie said:

    Thank you for your response ! I just failed to mention that i no longer work with him . I quit that job a few months ago but our relationship didnt change at all, we are still just fuck-buddies . I think your advice is really helpful and i have already decided that im not gonna keep going on with this because i do value myself more then that and also because since im having feelings for him and this whole situation is just hurting me .
    Now i have decided that im gonna open up to him and tell hum how I feel , the only problem is choosing my words right because i dont wanna look desperate. So how do I tell him that I like him and i want more then just what we are right now without him looking at me like im a fool . I really just wanna do or say something to make him think about the whole thing and think that he would really benefit from it . I get mixed signal from him sometimes hes really nice to me and sometimes hes jut cold. So How do i think it would be the best way to approach him ?
    Thank you again<
    Jackie

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @Jackie: Well, now that mention it the whole job situation, it changes a lot of things. But, it’s good you told me. If you want to tell him how you feel without him thinking you’re a fool or anything like that, the best way would be to make him see that you’re not desperate and you have enough self-respect to end the entire relationship if he doesn’t want to commit to something more than a fuck-buddy status. Be concise with what you are looking for and what you are trying to avoid and if he really is interested in being together with him then he will be. Sometimes, not always, but in this case I believe it is best to be a little bit pushy with how you present yourself. Whenever he does act cold, either act or irritated (make him feel like he’s being childish) or just ask him why he’s acting cold, but do not seem to get mad over it. When he acts cold, it’s crucial not to get mad, but only slightly annoyed with his behaivour, indicating that what he’s doing is under you. Why should you have to fold to him? Instead, flip those rolls around a little.
    I really think that if you execute it correctly, then that should really work out well for you, but at the same time you must act like if it doesn’t then hell with it… let it be.

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