Some Fuck Buddies Just don’t Get it
Hey Robby G,
This is my problem.. Four years ago when I was younger, I started seeing
this guy Ryan. This was right after me and my ex of two years broke up, We
went on a date or two and had a lot of the same friends.. So eventually we
started hooking up. I didn’t have any feelings for him because I still loved
my ex and assumed it was just a booty call since I only called him at 3 a.m.
He got mad when I told him he was just my booty call and then stopped
talking to me for a few months, still continued off and on for a year. I got
a boyfriend and stopped talking to him. My boyfriend and I broke up a year
into the relationship and I went and slept with Ryan, never called again and
got back with my boyfriend. We are now split up for good this time and have
been hanging out, sleeping together.. But this time its kind of different
because he kisses me goodbye. He went to the bar with me and my friends,
held onto my cell phone and all that stuff. Kissing me in the bar and drove
my car back to his house. He likes to cuddle after sex and I always stay the
night. I went to give him a kiss on the cheek and he went for the lips as I
left the next morning. I’m confused is if this a fuck buddy or something
more? We talk almost every day and make plans to hang out but he falls
asleep since we have different working schedules but doesn’t make any other
signs really.. Even though when we do talk he tells me exactly what he’s
doing in detail explaining himself.. Please tell me what you think I should
It really depends on what you WANT to do, because it is quite clear that Ryan likes you a lot and wants something more than a booty call. He explicitly made it clear that he doesn’t want to be just friends with benefits since he got mad at you and refrained from calling you once you told him that he was merely a booty call. If you’re not interested in him as anything more than a booty call then he has to realize this, otherwise there will be issues in the future. You did make it clear to him, but I think that now you’re not together with your boyfriend he believes there is a chance that you two may hit it off and have something more serious.
Getting it Through to Him
When you see him and you see that he’s doing things that are inappropriate for a friend with benefits then stick to these rules to avoid making fuckbuddy mistakes. At the same time, you may want to consider maybe having him as a boyfriend because he is already so committed to you that it doesn’t seem like it would be that terrible of an idea. Either way though, you have to know exactly what it is that you want and express that to him while making it very clear.
What’s His Response
Now in the past he had gotten angry when you told him that he’s just a booty call, do you think that will be the same result this time? If it is then it’s probably best not to have him as a booty call anymore, simply because you have opposing desires and needs. Keeping a fuck buddy on call and giving them hope that someday something change between you two while knowing that it most likely will not is a terrible thing you can do because you’re igniting hope and keep that person from pursuing someone else who IS looking for the same thing as them. The only fuck buddy relationships that work out well are those where both partners know that it is strictly sexual and that is exactly what they both want at the time. Now if he doesn’t get angry and just says he knows that it’s only a booty call situation then also be wary because he might not mean it. It all depends on how he says it rather then him actually saying it. So if you have any doubt in him telling you that he’s past the fact that you don’t want him as a boyfriend but only as a booty call then again make sure to end things. Other than that it’s all game.
So the main thing for you to do here is basically make sure to express to him what you want and see that he is on the same level. If he isn’t, well, then move on otherwise it will not end well.
I would be interested in hearing what other readers think about this, and your suggestions are much appreciated in the comment section.