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Start a Relationship

13 August 2010 No Comment

So I have been with this girl for 5 years on and off and we were our first
everything. But last month we decided to go our seperate ways, but no matter
what happens between us both, we always end up getting back together, but
this time we have just strictly remain fb’s.. But I still have feelings for
her, and she does also, I feel like this situation is really sensitive
because if I start sweet talking she changes the conversation, and I don’t
want her to act awkward around me. Truth is, it’s hard hiding my emotions from
her, and I would like to know how I can gradually get her to come back and
eventually go back out with me. Again I want to tell you she loves me also,
she just seems scared of showing her emotions, and if she wanted to move on
she would have already done it with all the other guys that have been trying
to talk to her, but she calls me and talks to me everyday like if we’re still
going out minus the lovey dovey stuff… Can you please help me? I love her
so much, and people always tell me if it’s for love don’t ever quit, I just
don’t know who to come to.. Thank you for taking the time to read my message.

I don’t think there is much you need to do here to get her to start dating you “officially” again. You guys have been together on and off for 5 years, so clearly you’re past that initially getting to know you phase and you know each other and each other’s ways better than anyone new either one of you will currently meet out there. The only thing holding her back from getting into a serious relationship with you, that I can see, is if she thinks that there is someone better out there for her and she’s just waiting for him to show up. You obviously know her better than me, so you have to decide for yourself if you think she is sort of using you as a back up while waiting for someone better, or is she genuinely into you and just not showing it off because as you said, she’s scared.

If I was in your situation, I would do it classy. First I would make sure that she likes me, which is what you have clearly done because you sound certain that she feels the same way for you as you do towards her. Then I would invite her out to dinner (some place formal) and have casual conversations with her about whatever you guys are interested in. Then after a few glasses of wine and fun conversations, I’d bring up the subject of dating and relationships and if she has anyone right now who she likes. Then bring up how you’ve actually spent time with other girls throughout the time that you’ve been single and you can’t find anyone that’s been as great as her. Don’t sound sarcastic or even too serious, but like it’s something that just entered your head out of the blue. Then I would ask if she would want to give a relationship a try. This way, you’re the one who took initiative and came right out and said it. If she’s scared of her emotions or too shy to bring it to the table, you’ve already done the hard part and asked her straight up. If she does like you as you say she does, then she’ll agree, and you can cheers to a new found relationship. But after you bring up that you would like a relationship with her, say something like, “You know, with our history I don’t think we’d make a bad couple. We never argue, we talk almost every day as it is, and you still haven’t begun to annoy me” (smile) “maybe we should give a relationship a go. It could work out nicely.”

Then take a sip from you glass and wait for her answer. I think that’s all there is to it here and as long as you have the confidence to say it like that then I don’t see a reason why she wouldn’t go along with it.

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