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Starting a Long Distance Relationship Without a Foundation

12 November 2012 No Comment

Hey! I want to ask you for advice. Two and a half years ago I met a guy. We’ve
spent two weeks together but we’ve never seen each other again after that because
we live in a different countries. I didn’t fall in love with him and yet when I see his
picture, hear his name or just think of him, I feel butterflies in my stomach. I
don’t know what to do and how to forget him because he is everything I’ve ever
dreamed of and during the time we spent together he liked me quite much too, but
we’ve only kissed twice. And there were a little complication, because it turned
out that he slept with another girl during the time we were in one country which
is normal cause we’ve never been dating, and after I found out I cut all
connections with him cause I thought that if he liked me he wouldn’t have had sex
with that girl which was my friend, but after we got to know each other better he
said that I’m his perfect match and I feel that he is mine. Soon I’ll have
opportunity to go to his country and I’ll be able to visit him, should I do it?
should I pursue happiness with him or should I leave it? Please, help me!

I’m going to say right from the top that I think it’s always best to pursue happiness, because if you don’t you’ll end up second-guessing what could have been if you did visit him. The thing you have to watch out for when you do visit him is whether or not one of his first impulses is to get you into bed. It’s true that before you two were not a couple and him sleeping with your friend was fair game. However, now if he’s saying that he feels for you and that you’re his perfect match, then you must test him. Depending on how long your visit is going to be, see how he treats you. If he actually puts in effort and takes you out on a date and shows you a good time before trying to sleep with you then you’ll see that he’s serious about you. If he’s just about sweet talk and tries to convince you off the bat to get in bed then you should take a minute to think if he’s real about it or not.

Also, you have to really know what it is you want. If you’re okay with just having a fun time and not really getting too involved then you can also approach the situation in that way as well. It’s very difficult to hold a long distance relationship, and unless you’ve been able to build a solid foundation then there will always be factors that get in the way of you two staying together. I don’t want to sound negative, but it’s sometimes hard enough to keep a relationship alive when the couple is in the same city, but when they are countries apart then the odds are really not in your favor. I’m mentioning this just so you are prepared and don’t assume that it will all be sweet and dandy and you two will not have difficulties that distance cause.

If you do decide to see him, be prepared to have a good time and know that you’ll be happy that you’ve made the decision to see him. However, do not be over-enthused about coming out of it with a relationship that has a lot of potential. Be real about the situation and try to approach things rationally. If you do that then things will work themselves out and you will be able to enjoy your trip much more.

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