Staying Just Friends
So my guy friend and I have been talking a lot. And are starting to become
friends and we both just got out of a relationship. It came up that he was
looking for a fuck buddy. And I would like to be friends with him and I am
starting to like him. But I am not sure that becoming his fuck buddy would ruin
the chance of us either staying friends or eventually being in a relationship.
Neither of us are quit ready for a relationship yet though, so keep that in
mind. I think it might be good to have a fuck buddy but I don’t want it to just
be about sex. Also, I’m 18 and he’s 28. So could the age factor be a deal
breaker for the relationship but not fuck buddy’s? What do you think? Thank you!
I suggest you stay friends and not get involved sexual and see what sort of person he is when there isn’t anything sexual to gain from you. The age factors in on this because men that age are hard to read as to what it is he is interested in. But you have to keep in mind that he’s been around the block longer than you and there are many things that he could be hiding from you by putting on a front, simply because he’s experienced at the game. Personally, in your position I suggest you avoid giving into his programming and set your own guidelines and see if he’s game. Stay friends and with time you’ll see his true intentions. Plus, sex always complicated things. When I was younger I believed that it wouldn’t but it always does. There’s an element of “possession” that comes into play with sex, which is understandable and quite primal. This does not necessarily mean he is the one who will feel the possessiveness, but rather you.
If over time you two feel that there you’d like to pursue something more than just friendship then take it to that level, but becoming a fuck-buddy with a 28 year old at this point is quite erratic and inane. Though there are many responsible 18 year olds, and I’m sure you are too if you’re questioning yourself before jumping into it with him, there are still slips that may occur that you will only regret in retrospect. And I’m here to hopefully guide you away from those regrets. The fact that you’re questioning yourself should be enough of an alarm to avoid the situation altogether, however there is obviously a thrill that comes along with being with an older man and an allure of seeing something new. My suggestion is that you don’t rush and test him out before trusting his words or perceived intentions.
Regarding your final question about the age factoring in on the relationship aspect, I would say that if he is a serious and respectable man then a relationship is your best call, but that also means that you should be ready to think about the future and whether or not you see yourself being with him for the long haul. If not, the fuck-buddy thing with a man at his age will probably leave you hurt or if not hurt feeling used, and at your age that has long-term negative effects that you’ll have to live down. Remain friendly and discover him as a person more before making rash decisions, is what I think your best bet is, and if that develops into a relationship then great, but if you naturally drift apart then you’re not losing anything meaningful.