Take Control of the Relationship
I have recently hooked back up with a friend who I’ve known for over 5
years. We had sex the first night after reconnecting. I’ve been out to a
restaurant and a drive in movie with him so far, but always as a double
date. If we go out he always has his friend and one his girlfriend’s with
us. I spend the night and he cuddles with me all night. He kissed me the
first night, but doesn’t much anymore. He pays for things, but doesn’t let
me play my music in his car or watch movies he thinks is stupid. We laugh,
talk and have a good time. He has told me that he doesn’t want a
relationship right now and does not want to go from “phase 1 to phase 5”. I
think we have since we had sex the first night, but he said he is referring
to emotionally. I don’t know if he is playing it cool with me or if he
simply just wants to fuck me. What do you think? If he does just want sex,
how can I play it cooler than him and keep him guessing and wanting more
without getting too involved?
He’s not just playing it cool, he’s playing it to perfection. From having you hang out with him and his friends to being a little bit of an asshole by not letting you shuffle around with his music in the car to telling you that he doesn’t want any emotional attachment while discrediting any merit sex may have, he is doing everything that a player who knows the game ought to play it. So to answer if he just wants sex, then I will tell you that the fact that he is keeping you confused and wondering what he may want while still having sex with you, he is playing out his game-plan. If you want to turn the tables and play it cooler than him than there are a few things you must do that will make him begin guessing where his game-plan went wrong.
If you want to play it cooler than him then you must show him cool you truly are with the situation. You must take control of the situation and show him that he’s nothing special but just another guy who you have on a string. You must act like you see through his game and you find it a little bit childish or foolish that he even believes that his styles even works on women. You must portray yourself as a woman rather than a girl who is easily impressed by his antics. The next time you are around him and he is again doing things that he thinks will impress you such as makes jokes or doesn’t let you change the music on the radio, act annoyed rather than neutral or even encouraging. Be a little bit more high maintenance and I guarantee that he will feel a little bit confused yet filled with mystery because you used to be much more accepting and now you will transform into someone who does not seem to be impressed that easily. He will in turn get a little bit turned off at first but then he will get intrigued and will want to outplay you. He will get interested because he will view this as competition to see who can have the dominant position in your relationship. This way you will be able to play it smooth but not necessarily get too involved in anything too serious. And once he gets enticed by your indifference to his actions yet not necessarily to him, he will want to pursue you more. But remember, you should act like you completely do not care for him, but instead you do not care for his game and that you see through it. Also, this will send some mixed signals, but that does not necesserily mean a bad thing, because mixed signals sometimes may act like an attraction method. And once he gets attracted, it will be up to you to guide your relationship any which way you please.