Take Control of Your Relationship
I’ve been seeing this man for at least two months and it has been quite a
ride. He was observing me for almost a year then one night I was in his club
and gave him my number. I didn’t like him very much at first, as I knew he was
just a player. We began dating and after juggling with two other guys I
decided to give it a go with him. I didn’t want a serious relationship but he
was just like I wanted my man to be so I give in. At first we were great. But
then we were like mr & mrs smith and I broke up with him when I found out he
was messing around. Before that we sort of began to walk the path of just
fuck buddies he said, but then again why he always calls me and asks me
about my life even we are not seeing each other that day?
He still calls me and so on but says he doesn’t want a relationship.
Although I cried over him, we saw each other and had sex once again.
He always said he didn’t want a serious relationship with anyone and he
agreed to be in one with me because he liked me and the sex was amazing. I
said to him I wanted to be just fuck buddies and he obviously agreed. I don’t
know if I want to be as I was before I met him…a player and commitment
phobic. We both are like that, but I struggle with my female friends telling
me I should act like a girl not a boy and want a serious relationship. I want
him I guess to want me again for a serious relationship …to be like we were
in the beggining.. how can I do that? Should I play with him some mind games?
He used to say the one for him would have to make him wonder and know how to
play him. I thought I knew, but he said I wasn’t that good..he could had me
figure out. I want to win the battle and him being the prize…
He’s the type of player that likes to play games and for him the fun is in the chase rather than the catch. He sounds like the type who enjoys living a volcanic lifestyle and any boredom or calm makes him want to create new problems just to keep things excited. This is why he cheats and gets into arguements often and has commitment issues, simply out of fear of settling into a an unexciting lifestyle. But before you decide to try and get him locked into a relationship, think about what you want. You said your friends say to act like a woman and go against your natural desire to have a fuck buddy relationship with him, yet you are not interested in what they advise. Don’t ever go against your own wants when it comes to these sort of situations because it’s your own happiness you’re playing around with, not your friends’. But on the flip side, if you want something more serious then you should in fact play that mind game a little. I am usually against them, but since at one point he asked you if you wanted something serious and you refused him, it won’t be that easy to make him want a serious relationship again once you already agreed to something strictly sexual.
Get Him to Chase You… Again
You have to make him chase you again by playing those very mind games. You must try to get him to chase you again by pulling away from him a little bit but at the same time act really nice and cool when you talk on the phone or when you are together. You must play that tease in order for him to get interested again and think that you have moved on but do not yet want to tell him that. He must feel the distance. Don’t always call back when he calls, or when he calls and you answer, tell him you are busy and you’ll call back, but don’t call back. Or don’t always respond to his texts. This way you build up curiousity in him and he will think that you have found someone else or you just don’t want him anymore. With these sort of guys you have to make him feel like you are using him rather than he is using you, because that way he will feel like you’re the one that’s in control and that will pose as a challenge he will want to overcome by getting you to like him as much as he likes you.
Win the Battle
To win this battle and get him as the prize you must really put on a show for him. And those mind games will come into play here. When you’re with him, as I said, you must be very caring and nice, but at the same time not too easy. If he comes close to kiss you, smile and move your face away slightly. When there are other guys in the group, feel free to flirt with them to show him that he’s not that special and you can get any guy you want. Kick the romance to the curb and instead of appearing very entised by him, sometimes interrupt him when he’s in mid-sentence just to show him that he’s slightly boring you. You have to show him that you expect more excitement and you aren’t interested in his “boring, collected” ways. If he invites you some place, tell him you think it’s boring and think of something much more extraordinary and really send out these mixed signals which will confuse and stimulate him to try and have you figured out. Then after some time see the changes in how he acts around you and notice that he will be in the palm of your hand. You’ll be able to decide where you want this relationship to go from then on.