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Take Pride in Being her Boyfriend

21 September 2010 4 Comments

When I met the girl who is now my girlfriend, she told me she hadn’t had a
boyfriend in 4 years.

It was kinda hard to believe because she’s very hot.

Turns out -while she didn’t have a boyfriend – she had had a series of
“casual relationships” or f buddies… one of whom she was still seeing when
we started going out.

I feel deceived that she omitted that part of her history.

And… I feel as though she was into those other guys more. She’d sleep with
them just for the thrill of it. But me – I have boyfriend responsibilities
– birthdays, valentines day, and so on. I think they had it a whole lot
better than me.

What do you think?


Though I agree with you that in some way those other guys did have it better than you do, because I personally like being a fuck buddy more than a boyfriend, you do in fact have something they did not possess. She picked you to be her boyfriend rather than a fuck buddy because she obviously found something better in you than she did with the rest of those guys. They were just there for her pleasure and they weren’t anything more than that. You, on the other hand, are her emotional support, someone she shares thoughts and ideas with, someone she doesn’t just have sex with but likes enough to actually go out and have dinner and talks with.

What would worry me if I were you is the fact that she kept seeing one of the guys while she was dating you. I would make sure that all of that is finished and make sure that she realizes that it is not alright to keep doing that if she is committed to dating you. You shouldn’t feel deceived simply because you chose to be her boyfriend. I am sure that with a different game approach you would be able to become her fuck buddy rather than boyfriend. And actually, it is somewhat a better thing that she did not mention that part of her history to you, because this proves that she doesn’t care for those guys. No matter how many relationships a person has had in the past, they tend to share the ones that were most important to them with others. She obviously didn’t find it necessary to share with you about those guys because they weren’t anything special. Now if she would have brought it up within the first few dates with you, wouldn’t you feel like there is something there between her and those guys that still lingers in her mind?

I would suggest that you don’t worry about this too much, unless of course you have thoughts that she may continue to see these other guys behind your back. Otherwise, enjoy the relationship you have if you’re happy with being her boyfriend rather than her fuck buddy, because if you want to be someone’s fuck buddy then why get into a formal relationship in the first place? Don’t make the fact that she’s had fuck buddies in the past an issue, because the past isn’t what you should worry about at this point, it’s the future you two will share. You’ve mentioned she’s very hot and I assume she’s a nice enough girl to date, so enjoy it instead of being caught up on her past.


  • chuck Waters said:

    Thanks so much for your thoughtful response.

    One thing I have to take issue with – it’s an assumption you make.

    You assume that she could have made these guys “boyfriends” instead of “fuck buddies,” if she chose.

    I think that’s a false assumption.

    When they started going out with her… they made it clear – they wanted nothing serious from her – just sex – because she had a child.

    They were the ones who preempted a serious relationship – not her. Of course, you could not know this from my initial question.

    So… I agree – for a guy… it’s much hotter to be a fuck buddy. And feel like I’m really getting used goods when I “date” somebody else’s fuck buddy.

    I said to her… so you were good enough for him to fuck… but not date. but for me – you’re supposed to be good enough to date!?

    I don’t think so.

    She’ll always be just some girl I fuck.

  • Robby G (author) said:

    @Chuck: In that case, then yeah it’s best for you to just treat her as the other guys did and not take the extra load that comes along with being a boyfriend. Since you said she was really hot and you were surprised that she hadn’t had a boyfriend in 4 years, it made me think that she was the type that could be able to wrap any guy around her finger. You didn’t mention that she had a kid, which like it or not, is a big turn off for most men. Your decision is best I think though.

  • steph said:

    wow….1st of @chuck ur a pig for treating her like that beacuase she had fuck buddies dont think that because we are girls that we dont use guys…we use u just as much as u use us …and good for u that she was still fucking dude while dating u she’s obviously a smart girl cuz ur a scumbag… and if ur so insecure den u need to take a good look at yourself and down below cause u obviously aint packing heavy….and she probably wanted some1 to spend money on her…see she was using u …u just werent good enough to be a fuck buddi she decided u were godd enough to get money out off….karma is a huge bitch and u got ur’s

  • Chuck l waters said:

    Women in such situations always saybthe same thing : I used them. But the fact is women who are relegated t F buddy status do so only because the guy they’re skewing won’t date them. You seem hostile because it sounds like you’re in that position… A fuck buddy who’s rationalizing that you’re actually using him. Fat chance. Men LOVE getting used like that -so no harm, no foul. In the end in the f buddy relationship… It’s the woman who loses.

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