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Taking it Beyond the Random Hook-Up

2 May 2010 One Comment

I’ve been hooking up with this guy here and there but nothing too serious. It
usually happens when we are drunk. We randomly hang out, but we’re usually
not alone. He will randomly text me and I’ll randomly text him. But I’ve come
to realize i like him more than just hooking up, and i wanna hang out with
him alone. But he clearly doesnt want to or else he would ask me to, right?
And i wanna tell him i like him but im to scared its just about hooking up
for him, and i dont wanna feel like an idiot or mess up the some what
friendship we have. Ughh help!


Break A Leg
Telling him you like him could work against you in this situation if he considers your hooking up just like any other hook-up and nothing more. However, you could tell him that you want something more than just a random hook up and it is his decision if he wants to try out getting in a relationship with you. One method that could work is if the next time you see him and he wants to hook up or if he texts/calls you, tell him that he shouldn’t get your wrong but the random hook up isn’t working for you anymore and you’re looking for something a little different.

How I Got in My Latest Relationship

I recently had a girl that I would hook up with here and there, just like you. I didn’t know if she wanted anything more serious or not, but the fuck-buddy relationship was fulfilling for me. Then one day I texted her to get her to come over so we could hook-up again, but when she replied, she told me something like “I’m not into the whole just sex thing and I’m looking for someone I could date. Sorry…” I’m not saying to say exactly that, but something along those lines, because when I messaged her back, I told her I’d be up to try the whole dating thing with her. The fact that she said she is looking to date, yet did not refer to the fact that she is interested in dating me specifically made me sort of feel like it was my turn to pursue her and she then asked me if I was sure that’s what I wanted and I told her I’d be willing to give it a try.

I Need to Date

Just like the current girl I will be dating, you shouldn’t tell him that you are not pressuring him to become your boyfriend, but tell him that you are not interested in any more random hook-ups and are looking for somethin more concrete. Make him feel like you are not interested in being friends with him, but just you’re not too happy with the current arrangements, and of course if he wants to try out dating then it’s upto him. This way you’re not breaking your friendship and you’re not openly telling him you really like him. So this way even if he just sees this as just random hook-ups then he may consider trying out what you indirectly proposed and he may jump on board to going on an actual date with you. If, however, he is really against relationships then he will decide not to become your boyfriend but at least your friendship will still be there. And since you haven’t found anyone to date yet there is a chance he will decide to try dating you after sometime that you two have not hooked-up. I believe this is the best course of action for you right now and hope it works out well and that it isn’t only about just a random hook-up for him.

One Comment »

  • Tina said:

    You are so awesome for hpeilng me solve this mystery.

    Reply to Comment


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