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Testing the Waters with a New Man

1 March 2010 One Comment

hi rob

i just came across your blog and love it, but felt like i needed some
help.

Here we go i have a bf who lives abroad and i met at work during an
internship some guy that i started to see after i ended up my internship.

we do get along well but i gotta admit i feel attracted to him, we took
this bad habit to email randomly at work everyday and im now always hoping
and waiting for these little pointless emails.

fact is drunk i told him i liked him and i even texted him…

he’s quite older than me and my friends in front of my confusion towards
him because i feel so attracted to him said it was just pointless because he
probably only wanted some potential sex with me and that i was his ego
flattering because im 22 and he is 30.

i have this weird high school girl admiration to him so i dunno….

he asked me if i wanted to go on a week end together.

do u think he sees me as a potential fuck? or friends?
i like to think we are friends but im sure it’s not the case

please help me

thanks


Just because he is 30 and you are 22 doesn’t mean that he may see you as a trophy fuck or an ego-boost. He may truly be interested in you and one way to test it is by his actions. First I’d like to state that this weekend away can make a big impact on your potential relationship. He most likely will want to sleep with you and I don’t know if you want to actually go on this weekend away with him if you haven’t really developed anything solid with him apart from these little flirtatious emails. Another thing is, these emails do show a lot. The fact that he takes the time to email you even after you finished your intern shows that he is genuinely interested in spending his time to stay in contact with you.

What I suggest is that you go out with him and see how things go. Take it slow and don’t be forward about anything, hold your ground if he’s trying to advance but still remain playful. Have a good time out with him and try to pick up on hints on whether he wants a relationship with you or just looking for someone to fuck around with. One way to do that is by talking to him about past relationships. I noticed that most men who are used to relationships tend to stick to getting into relationships when they meet women they like, while the men who are keen on not having to commit to a formal relationship end up sleeping around. Also, if you really want him as your boyfriend rather than a fuck-buddy, I suggest you figure out for certain whether he wants you as his girlfriend and before sleeping with him, you should break up with your current boyfriend if you feel that this new man is really worth it. If you sleep with him while still committed to your boyfriend, he can easily tell you that he doesn’t trust you enough to date you because you cheated on your current boyfriend and he’s afraid you’ll do the same to him. However, if he sees that you were constantly loyal to your boyfriend and only got with this new man after breaking it off with your boyfriend then he should not have any real dilemma with making you his girlfriend. Make sure, however, before going through with any of it to be certain that he does like you as something more than that ‘trophy’ fuck at his age. You should also take into perspective what his future desires are in respect to marriage and whatnot because 30 is close to the age where many men tend to get married. Take things slow and with caution and don’t pressume the best or worst, but handle things with a cool head.

One Comment »

  • dreamlover said:

    I’m 29 and dating a 47 year old man for 2 years. The relationship is great even though its long distance. About a year ago I found myself admiring a guy my age and we had chemistry from the beginning. So about two months ago I finally acted on those feelings and it was all passion that I knew it would be and more. I know the guy is a fuck buddies right now but I already want more. I don’t know what to do because my boyfriend and my fuck friend and me travel for a living that’s our job. I love my boyfriend but because his not trying to take the relationship another level marriage I don’t see it working, so all I have is the fuck buddy on mind and its like so perfect dinner dates seeing each other at work and the bed. I’m to the point that I haven’t slept with my boyfriend since being w/ the other guy. What to do?

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