The Ex-Girlfriend is Still in the Picture
So I met this guy through my friend, and we started dating and have been
speaking to each other everyday since we met… we got together and made it
official… bf/gf… but then I started hearing that he is still mixed up
with his ex-gf of 3 years… so I lost trust, and we started to argue
non-stop… we broke things off but now we are still having sex together, I
am not sure what is going on with his ex and him, and I dont know if i
should ask… I want him back, but I think he is very confused with me and
his ex… I have a feeling he might be cheating on his ex with me… i am
not sure what to do… but I really enjoy the sex, and things are a lot
easier now that we aren’t offically together…
After reading this, the thought “if it’s not broken, don’t fix it” comes to mind. If you enjoy the sex and things are easier now then why not just leave things as they are. Sometimes two people can be great together in bed but work horribly as a couple in a formal relationship. The fact that you think he may still be mixed up with his ex makes it seem like he’s not taking your relationship too seriously and you probably should not think too much of it either. Of course, your options here are either to keep sleeping with him knowing that there is something going on with him and his or you can confront him, telling him you want to be exclusive, and see where that takes you. Personally, I think if you are able to keep enjoying the sex and not care about what he does on the side then it will be good and simple for both you and him. However, when there are emotions involved then it could be better to end it early before you get too attached.
For example, I have a friend who got into a relationship with a girl who was still in contact with her ex and he didn’t know for sure whether or not if it was anything sexual, but they argued a lot because of it. It went on for a long time and it seemed that after each serious fight they had, she’d go back to her ex for comfort. The fact that she and her ex shared a long history made my friend feel like he’s not the number one man on her mind but just a guy she’d be with when her ex wasn’t available emotionally or physically. Finally, he had to end it because all it did was exhaust him and he just couldn’t handle the hot/cold relationship they were in. So I’d say it could be best to end these sort of relationships or not even get into them, because once someone is really close to their ex they will not be emotionally open until the ex is completely out of the picture and out of his mind. Unless you’re willing to just be a side fuck buddy, my advice would be to tell him that it’s over, because even an ultimatum wouldn’t work here. He may end up telling you it’s over with his ex and he only wants you but in reality he’ll still be thinking about her and all that will do is get you into more arguments.