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The Fuck Buddy Rep

9 October 2009 3 Comments

I have a crush on this guy at my school and we’ve been making out when we go
out,  and last weekend when we were both tipsy, we decided to become fuck
buddies.  He told me he doesn’t want a relationship right now and I said I’m
okay with just keeping it as a physical  relationship. All his friends said
he’s just out to play. He is a senior and a virgin so he really wants to
fuck! Last year I dated one of his close friends but he moved, he said one
of the reasons why he didn’t want me was because of my ex, but when I said I
was cool with just keeping it physical he forgot about my ex. I haven’t had
sex in a while and I really need to do it again so I want him as a fuck
buddy, however, I  also want him as a boyfriend. I know the whole playing
hard to get thing works pretty well if you want to get a boyfriend but I
can’t play hard to get if I already agreed to be his fuck buddy. We haven’t
done anything yet, we decided to be fuck buddies 2 days ago, and since then
we haven’t seen each other. He told me that it would be hard keeping it as a
secret since he wants to tell his friends when he’s not a virgin anymore,
but I don’t want people at school to think I’m a slut. After we made out for
the first time, some people started telling him to go for me because I was
into him. I explained that people just talk too much and that I just want to
hook up with someone. We don’t usually talk at school but we hang out with
the same group of people. I’m pretty sure even though we were tipsy he was
serious about it because he’s a senior and a virgin. How do I get him to
fall for me if I’m giving it all to him easily?

Ahh, High School drama, wouldn’t change it if I could. I’ll tell you off the bat that what people think of you, especially in High School doesn’t mean anything in the real world. Once you’re out of High School and are in college or working, you will not stay in touch with anyone except your current circle of friends. And if you have real friends then they wouldn’t judge you and call you a slut, but would say go for whatever makes you happy. You mentioned that you would like to be his fuck buddy yet also want him as your boyfriend. This completely contradicts the idea of a fuck buddy relationship. Fuck-buddies do one thing– they fuck. Now if you want him as a boyfriend then that means you want him to go on dates with you, go to dinners, movies, and all that other magnifiscent stuff a real couple does. I really respect the honesty you two share, like for example you said that you were able to discuss becoming fuck-buddies openly and he told you directly that he won’t be able to keep it a secret. So, from the picture I can come up with from your description is that he’s a pretty honest guy. He told he’s a virgin, he told you he wants it strictly physical, he respects the idea that you used to date his friend, and he’s not sweet talking you to just sleep together and never talk to you again, which is something I know many men do and do it quite successfully. And the fact that his friends tell you that he’s just out for play is complete shock to me, because I know my friends and my friends would lie for me even if that was true, because essentially they’re my friends. So if I was you I wouldn’t even worry about what his friends are saying. I’m sure that being a virgin in senior year there’s definitely a lot of pressure to fuck, and he should get to fuck if he’s an honest, decent guy who is willing to take you on dates and spend time with you and trust me if he thought you were a slut, he most likely would be playing a totally different word-game with you when you’re together.

The Ball’s In Your Court

As I see it, he’s really been a little too nice and has laid all of his cards out on the table. He’s letting you be the decision-maker. Now it’s really up to you to think what you want, what’s most important for you, and if you can handle it just being a physical relationship AKA fuck-buddy. You said that it’s been a while since you last slept with a man and you’re really into this guy, so why not just cut the bullshit and do what you’ll both enjoy. And trust me, guys in high school who get something they really enjoy don’t turn down seconds. So he’s not going to be a real cool player and say it was nice and just move on, especially because you said you hang out with a similar group of people in school. And about what other people think, you should really think about what’s more important your love-life and maybe even the start of a great relationship, or your high school reputation. Reputation is important, I agree, but this is a very small issue, because if you don’t sleep with him then you’re a “tease” or a “prude”, but if you do then you’re a “slut.” There’s really no win/win here, unless you go for what makes you happy. As I said, once high school is over with, all the things you thought were important in life will completely flip on you and you’ll realize how silly it might have once been to even debate the idea if you should sleep with a guy you like and you’ll see that fuck-buddies are fun, but that may sometimes work against you if you want the guy as a boyfriend. I’ll also suggest you read some of my previous posts on Tricking Fuck-Buddy to Becoming Your Boyfriend or anything else I wrote about getting yourself a boyfriend.


  • Carla said:

    I like this answer a lot and think you hit the nail on the head. High school reputation is so important until you finally go to college or off to work. Just have fun while you’re young. The guy is a virgin and won’t be too quick to leave you after you sleep together because he doesn’t have enough experience to know for certain that he can get other girls yet. He may actually get too clingy, that’s the only problem I see with virgins.

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  • OnONE said:

    OnONE said:
    I have been good friends with this guy for a while – never really took notice of him much till right before I moved away. Was a really sweet guy the more I got to know him so I developed the biggest crush on him, but on the side, I’ve had my boyfriend of 3 years so never did anything with the other guy. Until we met up again months later he just happened to be in town and we screwed. My boyfriend was a rollercoaster ass hole that I had already been tired of anyway but stayed with to see further how we’d work out but once I got with the other dude I broke up with my boyfriend. NOW we’re in the fuck buddy status – both single and like it that way – he has a job where he has to travel around a lot and I’ll invite him certain times of the year to hang out in random parts of the country and let him know that doing him dirty is part of the plans.
    SO I feel like we’re a little more than fuck buddies since we still talk about hanging out and havin fun, but the whole traveling around on the job for him and me being busy partyin and goin to school has left us just like that. Fuck buddies – I’ve never been in this kind of ‘relationship’ before – Feedback Please! Just need reassurance that maybe it’s just is what it is.

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    Robby G Reply:

    @OnOne: Sounds to me like a pure fuck buddy relationship. Even though you guys hangout together doesn’t necesserily mean that you’re dating. In your case you’re strictly friends with benefits. If he’s not locking you into a relationship where it’s clear that you can’t see other people, and you’re doing the same thing towards him then it’s all fine and simple and there’s that nice sexual encounter once in a while. The lifestyle differences has a big impact on the status of your relationship, but while you’re studying and partying, have fun and enjoy your freedom.
    If you have any further questions you’d like me to answer in more detail, just fill out a “contact me” form that you can get to by clicking on the page up at the header.

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