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Time and Patience will Get You what You Want

6 June 2010 3 Comments

Hey Robby G… By the way is my first time going to your page and i must
admit that i been on it all day at work.. is great but i really need
help…. so about three months ago i met my friends brother he lives in
another state and got out of a crazy relationship.. he came to visit and we
were all supposed to hang out all night but i couldn’t make it until really
late… by the time i got there everyone was drunk and having a good time…
we immediately clicked and that night we stood up all night talking about our
lives. We didn’t kiss or have sex and before he walked me outside, he asked
me to come back later to go with him to his family get together. Well, ever
since we have seen each other every weekend. i have driven two hours away to
see him of course he asks me to and he has driven to see me also… i have
met his best friends… but he has told me that he doesn’t want to be in a
relationship.. but he gets jelous of my ex. And we sleep together take baths
together brought our children around each other … and he constantly tells
me he misses me, what he’s going to do with me. He always tells me that
he hates me smilling and kissing me in the forehead.. am confused.. i feel
like he’s falling for me but why he can’t admit it to others or why keep telling
me to go find someone else?

With the explanation you have given, he does like you and feel a connection, but there is something holding him back. He has gone through a crazy past relationship and this may be the cause for his cautious approach towards rushing into something he does not feel certain about. Previous relationships leave really strong feelings that often times carry on to any future relationship that the person will get into, and if the relationship has been crazy then there is a desire to not repeat the same mistakes again. I am almost certain that in his past relationship he had rushed things onto his girlfriend and exposed too much of himself at once, and when the woman did not respond back as he had hoped, he ended up slightly hurt. He currently thinks that he may not be ready for a relationship simply because he does not want to repeat his mistakes, but at the same time he is allowing himself to act on impulses such as telling you he misses you and kissing you on the forehead. This certainly creates mixed feelings in you, leaving you confused and questioning why he would show such affection and at the same time tell you to see other men.

Test of Time

Telling you to see other men is a way for him to test you and see if you would fail that test. He obviously does not really want you to see other men, that is why he gets jealous around your ex, but he is almost rooting for you to fail and fall into the trap so he can prove to himself that he made a right choice by approaching this relationship cautiously. What you must do to get him to finally relax about keeping his guard up all the time, is to reassure him that you enjoy his company and that even though he tells you to see other men, you do not need or even want anyone else at this time. Make him see that you don’t sleep around just like that or even go from man to man like it was nothing. Tell him that it is alright that he may not want a relationship currently but make him realize that you are there for him if he does and you do not want to find anyone new at this time. If you can, try to get him to open up more about his past relationships and what went wrong there. Then find those negative points and try to avoid doing them, because they will hurt him the most if you turn out to be the same as his previous relationship. Then just give it time and really be there for him whenever he needs you. After a while he should feel more comfortable around you and come around to wanting to start something more serious with him. And the next time he hints or tells you to see someone else and that he will be fine with it, take it slightly offencively that he would even suggest such things. Make him feel bad for thinking of you as the type of woman that can go from man to man so easily even if it just on dates without any intimacy.


  • James said:

    Yeah that is absolutely true.
    If you are deterministic about to get and achieve something ,what needed by you is continuous effort,patience and off course with time the goal will be yours.

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  • Sarah said:

    That was great advice! I find myself in almost the same situation as the woman above. I hope things worked out for her! If so, I can feel hope!

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  • kim said:

    Goodness, I love what you just said Robby because it hit a chord in me. Hadn’t really thought about it much.

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