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Time to Move On!

10 September 2011 One Comment

hi there, just wanted to get some advice from u if i may, in regards to the
ex. We were together for 4yrs and we broke up reason why well
were not even sure, a lot of things happened at that time and it put a strain
on us both… We have been broken up now for a yr and yes I’m afraid we
are still seeing each other.. I just don’t know whats happening like yes of
course i still love him, but there is so many things he does that’s just soo
confusing and i keep telling him lets just go with the flow and see what
happens. Ok so let me start a list.
He totally is very affectionate with me, loves to cuddle and kiss and just
be in each others arms. whats confusing is i’ll joke and say you still like
me don’t you and he will straight away say no. What comes out of his mouth
does not match his actions and that’s really annoying. lol the next one.. We
will sit there watching a movie or just relaxing and he will say things to
me like i really miss your kisses, or hugs, or the way you smell and i just
brush it off cos i wouldn’t want to get into it and be felt unneeded if you
get what i mean, but he really does like to be in my company and i do with
him. We still go out to dinner or go do something or ill stay at his place
and he might stay at mine, but as much as i want to see him he is the one
that does not seem so keen. When together we both dont want to apart but when
we have parted he just never stays in touch. as in every other week we will
meet up. He has told me he has a little feeling for me so i guess that’s
something, but another thing is he tries pushing me away and ill say fine no
more contact but then he comes running back and ill do the same cos well we
should not be doing this, and i guess we both find it hard to leave each
other but don’t understand why he is not coming forward with me when he know
how i feel for him. There was one time when he was really serious on
shutting me out and randomly he said there was a big secret and he told me
he cheated on me a few times. As i was i didn’t believe it and was very upset
as in why he told me now when there was a time he was very angry and could
have said then. I asked to know what happened but to me it just don’t add up
with time frames and numbers of how many women changed so lol I don’t think
he even knew what he was going on about, but when i want to talk about it he
changes the subject or shuts down completely and its a topic not to be
spoken about lol idk either. We are great together and i do see and feel
that, we don’t live close to each other and he does shift work so its hard
sometimes seeing him then too, but i feel maybe its the influence of his
friends or something i feel is holding him back. There is not other lady in
his life as hes already told me and I’m not with anyone else either but i am
meeting other men, so I’m not putting my life on hold for him but it is
frustrating when he never speaks about his emotions or feelings and its hard
trying to get it out of him and as you can see i do get quite confused…If
you can understand him and let me know what i should be doing then i would
be happy to know anything…Thank you for listening to me it was really
great getting it all out. xo

I don’t mean to sound negative, but this is a very unhealthy relationship you two share, and if you’re serious about staying with him, then you should just be upfront with him. He acts quite bitter and tells you things to hurt you and I believe it is because he thinks he can do and say whatever and you will still fold to him. You seem like a good person and very forgiving, and I think that is where the problem lies. You keep returning to him and you don’t get too mad about things that would make almost any other girl get up and leave. If he wants to mistreat you–with his actions or even his words–then it’s time to move on. You’ve given him many chances and I feel that he knows this and keeps taking you for this ride, believing that you will always be there for him even if does or says terrible things. It’s either time to move on, or at least show him that he’s not that special. It would be great if you’d be able to find someone else for the time being so he recognizes the fact that he’s not your only option. I doubt that it’s his friends influencing to be this way, but if it is, then that should be enough for you to see that he’s easily manipulated by others and doesn’t have his own opinion towards you. Take a break from him and see what he does. Completely ignore his calls, texts, or any other attempts to see you. I personally don’t think he will try too hard to get back with you, and that way you’ll see that he’s not worth pursuing if he himself isn’t interested in putting in as much effort as you to make the relationship work.

You have to think back on all the good and bad things about your relationship with him and realize that he’s an ex for a reason. I personally think this relationship of yours is done for and it’s time to move on. Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful about how you can get him back, but sometimes it’s good to get advice from an outside source to see the things you don’t.

One Comment »

  • Lost said:

    Thanks so much for your opinion and i really do take what u say on board…. I have done what u just said i ignored him i would ignore his msged basically ignored him completely for almost a month and what happened he came running back… I gave all his things back and i told him enough…. He hates the fact i am going out and having fun and it’s annoys him not knowing what i get up too… He’s tried calling and that and i finally did see him to tell
    Him basically what does he want and to leave me alone.. He’s basically said he doesn’t want to loose me and he sees i am moving on from him and that he was wrong about everything.. I basically don’t really care anymore…he’s going through so much effort of giving me
    What Eva i want wanting to take me out and he’s telling me how he feels and that he’s ready to take the next step but I’ve told him I’m just not ready and it’s now my turn to have fun… Lol i think i did good… I will always have a soft spot for him but i always show him the i don’t care attitude… I’ve Neva seen him so eager to be apart of my life and yeah it’s great to see he’s the door Mat lol.. Thanks so much

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