Home » Friends with Benefits

Two Guys, One Girl and a Problem

7 October 2010 2 Comments

ok, i met this guy thru a friend of mine back in feb. pretty much been fuck
buddies ever since. In july i asked him if he really liked me as in
something more than just a good fuck. he said he did but didn’t want a
relationship that he liked being single. i told him that was fine that it
was the same for me. i just wanted to know where he stood. i then asked him
what he would call us. Friends with benefits(fuck buddy), just friends, or
fuck buddy that can one day be more. He said lets just call it friends that
never quite know what’s going to happen. i ask so pretty much a fuck buddy?
he said no.. friends that dont quite know what will happen. i didnt really
understand it but went along with it..shortly after me asking him that he
ended up moving in with me due to certain financial reasons a few weeks
later. I asked him if there was ever a chance of there ever being a “you and
me” he said maybe one day because he really enjoyed hanging out with me. I
left it at that and haven’t asked him anything else about it. i take him to
work and pick him up everyday we do a lot of things together. havnt had sex
in a few weeks not that i dont want to but it just hasnt came up he is kinda
a shy guy that doesn’t get out much or can communicate with women well but we
have a lot in-common and i like him a lot sometimes i get the impression
that he feels the same about me and other times i just dont know. this past
weekend him and 2 of his male friend went out. as well as i did but separate
from them. later they all met me at the bar i was at and we all hung out
played some pool drank some beers. me and his best friend went to listen to
the band that was playing and started dancing. later we all went to a after
party i introduced them all to some of my friends after awhile we all seemed
to go our own direction me and his BFF ended up dancing some more and then
started making out. I didn’t think anything of it because the guy i like has
really been showing any real interest in me. after the party we all came back
to my place and then decided to go to waffle house. He didnt want to go so me
and his BFF went. came back to my place, him and my other room mate were up
we all talked for a bit but me and his bff got tired so we went to my bed
and went to sleep. nothing happend between us till the next morning they both
had to go to work when they got back we all went back to bed. when we woke
back up me and his bff had sex. he left and came back over wanting us to go
out to eat with him the guy i like didnt feel like going (due to he was hung
over and feeling lazy) so me and his bff went out just the 2 of us. we got
to talking about a few things, got to know each other a little more since any
other time i was around him the guy i liked was there or his wife. (yes his
wife, but they are now getting a divorce, not because of me they have been
having problems for a long time but just now decided to get a divorce) so me
and him got to talking and he told me that the guy i like (his bff) got
jealous and a little offensive when we was dancing and making out the night
before. I asked what he said back to him he said that if i was his girl he
would back off he told him no that i wasn’t and never mind, and that was it.
It made me think that he really does like me since he got jealous but still
afraid to commit since he said i wasn’t his girl…. well after me and his
friend get done eating and talking we go out to a bar where some of my
friends were playing. We had some beers danced and later went back to his
place we had sex again and stayed the night there. The next morning came back
to my place he stayed for a bit we all hung out and talked about the show,
the bar, and the party and bull shiting around, he left… there hasn’t really
seemed to be any difference between the guy i like and i… and after
getting to know his best friend a little more im starting to like him a
little bit too. i just dont know what to do. one guy is in the middle of
getting a divorce, and the other dont really show that much intrist in me
other then a friend and sex once in a while… should i just be friends with
the both of them and thats it nothing more between either one. or friends
with the BFF and keep trying for the one that lives with me or stay friends
with the one that lives with me and see if the BFF shows anymore intrist in
me other then friendship and sex. he does show more of an intrist in me
then the guy that lives with me. What do you think i should do??? any kind
of advice will help me out a lot! im very confused right now. sorry for this
being so long as well… cant really ask a question about something with out
explaining the details. if ther is something else you need me to better
explain for you to give your best advice, just let me know.

I gotta start by saying that was one of the most interesting questions I’ve ever received. It was really entertaining to read and it seemed like straight out of a book, which I think is fantastic because it shows you’re living quite an interesting life. Now, about guy number 1 (the one that is living with you), I think he is starting to fall for you, and that is clear when he got jealous when you were dancing with his friend. He mentioned it to his friend, which should have been enough for his friend to understand that there is something going on between you and him and he should have backed off. Guy number 1 clearly didn’t say that you and him have something special, but that was because he didn’t want to seem like a cock-block to his friend, or even like he is acting jealous. In my personal experience, a friend either has to be encouraging that you get on the same girl he has had before, which is the only time I try to hook up with her; or he tells me that he and her have something going on, at which point I don’t even question anything and just back off. That’s also the reason why he didn’t come to the waffle house with you or come out to lunch with you the next time, because he was basically in a self-loathing type state rather than “hung-over” as he may have said as an excuse. I don’t know if he has gotten over you yet or not, but I think that can be discovered if you ever sleep with him again. It should be pretty clear how he performs and acts during the sex if he is still interested in you. And of course, it’s not a bad idea to talk to him about it after the sex, not before.

You seem to relate well with the second guy, even better than with the first, and I personally think you may understand each other better than you would if you were to go out with the first guy. One problem I see is that the two guys may not be friends for too much longer if the first one continues to feel jealous and continues to see you and his best friend getting along so well.

I can’t really tell you if you should try to get the first or second man to start a relationship with you, because that is completely up to you and your feelings towards them. I can say, however, that dealing with someone who is married is much more difficult and messy, even if he is soon to be divorced.

If I was in your position, I would probably take it as it comes. Do you really require a relationship with one of them, or can’t you just pick one and continue being their friend with benefits? I assume that over time, the one you choose will end up being more used to you and will treat you like his girlfriend even if he won’t exactly call you his girlfriend. I believe that guy number 1 is in fact interested in you, he just has a difficult time explaining it for a number of reasons. Either he is afraid of committment, or he doesn’t think he is able to keep a girlfriend for other personal or financial reasons. Either way, he does not want to admit to you that he is slowly falling for you, and his pride may be affecting him even more now because you slept with his best friend. It’s really up to time to show you how things unfold and if the first guy ends up showing more interest, or if the second actually goes through with his divorce and is serious about you. Best of luck, and let me know how things go.


  • cody said:

    You should just start ducking them both at the same time trust me im a doctor a a guy they will like it if you could talk them into it because it is kinda a guy thing it brings them closer to the point where they feel they can trust each other alot better.

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  • saifuddin said:

    my need any age female

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