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What I Look For in a Girlfriend

19 August 2009 7 Comments

What to look for in a girlfriendI have a lot of posts on fuck buddies and how to get with women, but I never really gave a breakdown of what sort of girls I’m interested. I’ll try to make it as detailed as possible, because saying “good looking” and “intelligent” just doesn’t cut it. Anywho, let’s get to my list.

  1. She’s not a slut. This is important. I love sluts, not over-the-top nasty type of sluts that walk around with their ass stuck out and enough make-up on to drown a midget in, but those sluts that will give it up without too much effort. However, when it comes to girlfriend material, she better not be easy to get into bed. It’s alright if she acts sexy, but it’s not alright if she acts too flirtatiously. Sluts are there to get passed around between friends, but when it comes to girlfriends they better not even think about what it would be like with another man.
  2. She knows how to look out for me. When a woman knows how to take care of her man and really make him comfortable and makes sure everything is just right, she already is half way there to winning his heart. I’m not being egotistical and saying that she should be in the kitchen all day preparing dinner and washing clothes on her spare time, I’m merely giving an example of her knowing how to take care of his needs (not talking sexual needs here). For example if she sees you need something when you’re at the dinner table then she will pass it to you without you even having to ask for it. Basically, I find it important that my girlfriend be attentive of my desires, and when she knows how to take care of me, I find it a lot easier and enjoyable to take care of her and, for example, pour her wine when her glass goes nearly empty without her having to ask for it. It’s a mutual attentiveness of each other’s needs that I find very important in a relationship.
  3. She doesn’t hassle me over minor things. One of the biggest turn offs in a woman is when she bickers over the smallest things. Those minor irritations usually build up over time and are usually what cause the relationship to end. When a woman knows how to chill out and be as carefree on certain subjects as me then there is total harmony and the corresponding understanding of separating what is important from what isn’t becomes a strong bond that keeps the relationship intact.
  4. She knows how to take a hint. Some girls (and I say “girls” rather than “women” because it is the girls who usually cannot master this simple skill) think it is cute to get on the man’s nerves at times by asking the same question more than once and really do not listen to what he is saying or at least pretend to not listen. The women who are mature really have this “no-bullshit” thing about them that they don’t like to ask too many questions about things they sense you don’t want to discuss. They don’t get in your face about them, instead they simply take the hint that her constant questioning will only irritate you instead of help improve the relationship.
  5. She knows how to be a lady. I like when my girlfriend is laid-back and has the ability to chill out, but when the times call for her to act aristocraticic, she really knows how to sit tall, wait for the man to open the door for her, not interrupt her man when he’s talking, and overall be well-mannered. I find that extremely important that she can be both a fun and cool girl when we’re together, but when we’re out with other people she knows how to act and how to not end up embarrassing us.
  6. She has enough trust in me to give me my freedom. The more a woman tries to restrict my freedom and tell me what to do, the easier it gets for me to just tell her off and leave. Not all women have enough confidence in their man to not breathe down their neck, but what they don’t understand is that most men are quick to flee when their freedom is being oppressed. My freedom to make my own decisions is most important to me, so when a woman tries to “tell me” what to do without making it sound like “advice” then my attraction to her quickly fades.
  7. She can make her own decisions. I find it crucial that my girlfriend can stand on her own two feet and doesn’t require me to baby her and make all the decisions for her. If she is able to live without me but chooses not to due to the emotional support I provide, I end up wanting her even more. This one is hard to explain. I basically don’t like it when my girlfriend can’t make a choice without my approval, but at the same time it’s a benefit when she looks to me for emotional support.
  8. She doesn’t need me but she wants me. This one ties up with number 7. What I look for in a girlfriend is that she chooses me to be with her rather than act like she needs me in to hold her hand through life. It’s a lot sexier when a woman can think for herself and choose for herself, but when she is choosing, she is interested in my opinion. This way the discussions we have are usually on a higher level as well because we both have our own separate thoughts on variety of topics.
  9. She can stand her ground. She doesn’t take shit from anyone. It’s crucial that she has enough respect for herself not to allow me or anyone else do just anything and get away with it. If she doesn’t care enough to stand her own ground then I simply can’t have enough respect for her to take her serious as a person.
  10. She has my back. This might be one of the most important points on here. If I’m ever in an argument with someone, she better have my back if I’m right or wrong. There’s nothing worse that a girlfriend can do than tap you under the table for you to shut your mouth that you’re saying something you shouldn’t when you really feel you should. If she ever takes someone else’s side over mine in front of other people rather than discussing it afterwards when we’re by ourselves then I break it off the next day because what she had done is utter disrespect to her own man, thus there’s no point to waste your time with a woman who doesn’t have the decent respect to not try and make you look bad in front of others.

Those are the 10 things I look for in a girlfriend and most of those things become evident after spending sometime in a relationship with her. I may even do certain things at different times to test her out to see if she doesn’t do some of those things listed. It’s better to test them out early into the relationship rather than later when you have so much feelings for her that you look past her flaws in not being able to meet the 10 requirements.

Leave a list of a few points you look for in a girlfriend that I didn’t mention here, or if you disagree with some of the points.


  • Al said:

    I have to say Robby. There is not one thing up there that I dont agree with. The main thing, I guess would fall under your not hassling section, but the jealousy thing, okay yeah its cute, but to a LIMIT. I want to have girls that are friends, be able to go out without her, main thing is TRUST i guess, that you mentioned. But great post once again Robby G.
    .-= Al´s last blog ..Bubble Bum, Kapri Styles Gets Anal Creampie =-.

  • Robby G (author) said:

    @Al: Too much jealousy is never a good thing. Trust is definitely most important in a relationship, but that’s something that can only be created after the relationship has been tested and you both feel that there is in fact a mutual desire between the two of you to not want to disappoint each other.

  • Dean said:

    that’s a fantastic overview of what every man looks for in a girlfriend. Women need to read and remember this! It’s written very well and detailed. I enjoyed reading this a lot, thanks.

  • Bling Bling said:

    #8 is dead on man. When the girl authentically wants to be with you instead of just needing you then you feel a lot better being with her. It’s aweird psychological thing i guess but it’s so true. And I agree with Dean that women should read this post. I’ll try to trick my girl into reading this without directly sending her the link lol

  • Britt said:

    I liked this until I got to number ten. You’re setting a double standard for men and women. You say that when you take your girlfriend out and around people it is important she doesn’t embarass you two. I agree with that completely. But you get to number ten and say that “there’s nothing worse that a girlfriend can do than tap you under the table for you to shut your mouth that you’re saying something you shouldn’t…” What if you’re saying something that is embarrassing her? She should let you continue on? I’m sure if positions were switched and you took her out to dinner and she started saying stuff you were not comfortable with her saying and it was embarrassing you, she would be gone shortly.

  • Robby G (author) said:

    @Britt: Thanks for your comment and glad you liked the post. But for numero 10, I should have probably clarified that. I didn’t mean if he’s embarrassing her, but if he’s simply saying something that she may not approve of. For instance, if he believes it is appropriate but she thinks it is silly or thinks others don’t want to hear it– that is just wrong in my opinion and she shouldn’t try to control him in that way, but should trust his judgement and discuss it with him after if she really thinks it’s inappropriate.

  • Alessandra said:

    Heya Robby G,

    I am a woman as you can tell by my name!!,
    All i want to say or the guys is if the women your with is not like that, then she isnt the right person!!,

    I didnt have to read this to know how it is.
    What girl/women need to is put her in your shoes and see how she would like it if her man was the oppisite from the above.

    Very good post though, and maybe it will teach girl/women to be less picky and in your face! lol

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