Home » Friends with Benefits

What’re We On?

25 August 2012 2 Comments

Hey Robby,
So I’m in a bit of a situation- what situation I’m in, is what I’m hoping you can
tell me. Met this guy through a friend- hit it off immediately and have been
hooking up ever since for three weeks. He has a girlfriend of 8 years, so its
the perfect situation for a fb relationship- no expectations on either end-
discussed and everything. The last 2 weeks he has been sleeping over, every
night- and if he skips a night -we see each other everyday. We are at the point
where we don’t have sex every time we see each other- cause we see each other
too often. Also my birthday just passed, and he bought me a brand new macbook
laptop- and I’m positive he’s slept with other people while he’s been with me.
So where does this ‘relationship’ -whatever that may be- stand? Am I a
borderline prostitute, fb or his wanna be girlfriend? – btw he’s not unreal
wealthy or anything and he’s 27 and I’m 21- if that makes any difference. Any
feedback would be appreciated.

This isn’t the typical FB arrangement and the fact that you two hang out so often, it’s definitely true that he doesn’t have a desire to end this any time soon. The expensive gift he gave you just proves that he likes how everything is going, and though I can’t really tell whether he wants something more serious or not, simply because I don’t know how he always has been around you and what sort of relationship he has with his girlfriend, but it’s definitely not a bad sign. I do not think that he thinks of you as a prostitute type or even a type of FB that he gets nothing from except for sex.

It’s interesting to see how this will unravel to be honest, just because it seems like it’s going really well for you two, but the girlfriend situation does feel like it may get in the way, either in a good way or a terrible way. It might happen that he does feel something for both you and his girlfriend and he will have to make a decision who to choose, and it may blow up in his face since his girlfriend might not take kindly to him cheating, nor there is no guarantee that you’ll want him as anything more than a FB. The second thing that may happen is that it could continue well and his girlfriend will not find out anything and when you two are both ready to call it quits, there will not be any hard feelings and you will simply go separate ways, for instance, let’s say if you find a boyfriend and won’t want to continue seeing this current guy even as a FB since you may not want to cheat.

I had a FB situation where I saw the girl on the regular, but it wasn’t even as often as you described, and when we did meet we would always have sex, so there was nothing more, that we both knew. I continued seeing other girls and she did her own thing, which I never had a problem with. Then when she did find a guy that she was serious about dating, she told me that she wants to discontinue sleeping with me just because she wants to try and start a formal relationship with this guy and didn’t want to build the relationship on lies or cheats. I was fine with it, and wished her the best of luck, just because I knew I wasn’t willing to offer what the other man was offering her–something steady and long term. I didn’t take anything personally and moved on.

What I want you to get out of that story is that you have something good going with this guy currently, but don’t rely on it lasting forever. If you are happy with being a FB and don’t want anything more serious than allow things to unfold naturally. But if you’re looking for something more long term and formal then keep looking for someone else while still being involved with this guy, there’s no harm there. If he wanted you to be his girlfriend, I feel that you would have had this talk by now, or he would be a little more active in breaking up with his girl.


  • b. said:

    Haha you finally replied! It was good to get someone else feedback on it – so thank you. Just FYI- I moved away for the summer- kept in touch for a bit- called me to tell me he was changing his number cause he was making the big move in with his gf- ended on good terms. So I’m curious to find out if i get a message from him now that schools back on. haha who knows! anyways i love your blog, its honestly one of my go to reads on the internet. Everything is so to the point. So keep it up.. please!

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @b: Yeah, sorry I took so long. I’m really trying to keep this blog alive, but it’s quite difficult these days both financially and with time restraints. I really would want to make it into a large database for straight to the point, no BS advice. Happy that I have some supporters and will definitely continue posting whenever I can. Cheers!

    Reply to Comment

Leave your Thoughts!