What’s On His Mind?
This is a long one … ha ha. Well Im currently in a relationship with this
guy for about 3 years and during these years we have our ups and downs. Now
it’s gotten to a point that I feel numb towards us and him …
About seven months ago I have started a relationship with an old friend
that showed sexual interest towards me. It all started with flirting then
leading into something more … I have been honest with my current boyfriend
of my feelings and is aware of the other individual.
My concern is this… even on a break from the bf, i feel that I have
develop some feelings for the other individual…and I also expressed my
concerns to him about me getting attached and surprising so he seem like he
didn’t mind. In fact was like you might not be the only one…lol
I feel that mix signals are being sent…ex: Asking questions if I would
date him or if I like him … I make the conscious effort of not contacting
him I find that this confusion is eating me up inside. In a perfect world I
wish he would tell me he wants something more. He just got out of a
relationship and said that he doesnt want to get into another one …
according to him this is what he told another girl that was interested in
him … so why the questions???
What’s your take on this matter?
It seems that he’s a little bewildered about his own emotions on this, because it is always difficult to get re-attached once coming out of a long term relationship. He may think he needs time to flirt and fuck around a bit before settling down again, but he always wants to keep his options open. That’s why I think he may be sending mixed feelings, because he’s not certain about the whole thing himself. He may also want to feel you out a little bit more before settling down and that’s why he’s asking specifically if you would be interested in dating him if he ever proposed the idea.
Flipping the Roles
You say that “In a perfect world wish he would tell me he wants something more,” well why don’t you try to bring it up in conversation. Don’t be too direct because it may scare him off, but try to mention it when you’re discussing things of that sort. It’s better to know exactly what he wants rather than just keep guessing and have it eat you up inside. It seems like a very fragile topic though and I think you should approach it with some caution if you know what I mean. Guys sometimes like when the girl takes initiative to discuss what is exactly going on in their “relationship” and what each of you want out of it. However, what guys don’t like is when the woman pressures him to give her a direct answer. If you just bring it up and if he doesn’t seem to want to discuss it then just drop it and say “I understand”, but there’s a big chance that he will talk about it. And when you’re talking he will feel the urge to be honest with you because you’re talking in person about it. Just make sure not to push him too much on the subject, and just be cool about it.
That’s my take on the matter and one more suggestion you may try out is actually go ahead and ask him out to dinner and basically make it a date in all aspects but just without fully saying, “Hey, will you go out with me on a date?” Just ask if he’s busy to come out on Saturday or whatever and just take it from there. Then try to assess his intentions on that date.