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When Will a Man Commit to a Relationship?

8 March 2010 One Comment

I’m hoping you can share some insight on why men don’t want to commit to a
relationship. I’ve been seeing this guy who is 29 years old for almost 5
months. It’s really more of a FB situation. He has made it clear from the
beginning that he wasn’t looking for a serious relationship and isn’t
interested in having a girlfriend. When does that thinking change for guys
like that? I mean is it just whenever they’ve decided they have sewn all
their oats? Do they wake up one morning and decide that maybe it is time to
get into something serious? Is it really about when the “right one” comes
along? Does a guy who doesn’t want a commitment ever really change his mind
about it?


I’m personally not one to quickly commit to a relationship and know that there are many reasons for not wanting to get involved in something serious, yet there are always times for exceptions. I believe it takes a whole lot for a men like me, including the one you’ve described, to get into something serious because we create extremely high standards for girls we choose to be our girlfriends and any slight thing that we may think is a flaw in the girl turns us off from committing into a relationship with her. Also, there is an element of fear involved that once we put that label of “girlfriend” on a certain girl then we lose our freedom to live in a certain way and will have to account for the girlfriend each time we choose a certain course of action that may directly or indirectly affect the girlfriend.

Woke Up One Morning, Got Yourself a Girlfriend

You asked if desire for commitment may happen overnight or if it’s until the man finds “the one” surely depends on how the man may be feeling. At times, we all get lonely and feel like we need someone there to give us something more than just sex and that is some kind of emotional support. It doesn’t just happen over night but there certainly is a time of recognition when the man thinks, ‘I really should get myself a girlfriend’ and begins to search for one, and that can happen when he is even involved with a fuck buddy. This, however, isn’t always the case and there are times when the man realizes he wants or needs a girlfriend when a certain girl ignites this desire in him. They could be completely content in not having a girlfriend, but then a certain girl comes along which just sweeps him off his feet, as they say.

So just keep in mind, it is possible for men to change their minds depending on their mood or how life is unfolding for them. There are of course those type of men which always require commitment and will want a relationship with any girl they get involved with. These are the men that have issues with not being able to control their emotions and feel that they can only sleep with a woman if she fully awknowledges their relationship and makes it clear that they are commited to only being together. It is easier for men who are not interested in commitment to change their minds, however, than the ones who always seek commitment to get out of that mindset. So once he may feel he requires something more than just sex, then he will come around to it himself and will want to commit, whether to you or someone else, nevertheless, is a different topic in itself.

One Comment »

  • MIMi said:

    I think that “There are of course those type of men which always require commitment and will want a relationship with any girl they get involved with. These are the men that have issues with not being able to control their emotions and feel that they can only sleep with a woman if she fully awknowledges their relationship and makes it clear that they are commited to only being together.” is extreme BS. And the tone is that if a man does this, is that he’s being needy, when in fact, he’s clear about what he wants. There’s nothing wrong with men like this.


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