Why Do Men Lead Women On?
Today’s answer will be directed for the females since it’s a question by a female, but that doesn’t mean that men can’t learn a thing or two either by discovering a few things women wonder about men.
I enjoy coming to your site. I especially enjoy reading your posts regarding relationships. A future post suggestion I have is something along the lines of “men leading women on..” I am curious as to see your take on the situation.
A man could be leading a woman on either intentionally or unintentionally.
Intentional or Unintentional?
Now I first wanted to talk about guys that lead women on intentionally by flirting, giving hints like they want to take things to the next level, and try hard to show they are interested in the woman, but the only problem they have is to move in for the kill because of their fear of rejection. Some guys are great companions for women, they can be their best friend and they sometimes become just that, but usually that’s not what they intend to be with the woman. It’s not their fault that they lead the woman on, because in fact they want to do just that, it is just they are uncertain of themselves that if they attempt to go in for the kiss that the woman will react the way he imagines.
Then there are the men that unintentionally lead women on. These guys are just extremely friendly with everyone and their friendliness may sometimes be read incorrectly. It really depends on the man’s mood most of the time, and if he’s being friendly, he may be misunderstood to be acting flirtatious and may look like he’s leading the woman on when in reality he’s just happy about something completely unrelated to the women he leads on.
Decoding the Lead
I’ve developed three ways that women could solve their frustrations of having men lead women on.
1. If you’ve just noticed that the man has began to lead you on, it may be smart of you to flirt back and in fact show your interest by flipping the onus. Now this should only be done if you’re in fact interested in the man who is leading you on. Now that you know he’s leading you on, the ball is in your court, so go ahead and have some fun with it. Smile, flirt, joke around, make him feel important and make him feel comfortable enough to make the move. If he’s the shy type and you can tell this by the way he acts around you, you may even want to be the first to move in and give him a sensuous kiss on the cheek or the lips and make him know that you’re attracted to him and there’s nothing for him to be worried about.
2. If the guy is trying to lead you on and you really don’t feel comfortable with it maybe either because he’s doing it in a completely creepy way or you just don’t want to ruin your current relationship, you may want to give him the idea that you’re not interested… but in a nice way. And the best way to give a man the idea that you’re not interested is of course by telling him so. Just make sure to do it diplomatically, and by that I of course mean, professionally and unproblematically. When you notice that he’s leading you on, in a nice and jokingly way just say something like: “I love you and all, but just as friends.” Smile and make sure to read his reaction. If his smile fades and he tries to blow the conversation off, he was into you. But if he’s genuinely surprised and his smile grows then he never actually thought about you as more than friends. And if he does act surprised, you can always laugh it off by making your comment seem sarcastic and you won’t feel embarrassed that you truly believed that he was leading you on intentionally when he was doing it unintentionally.
3. Confronting him about it could work too, but that’s only if he looks like he can handle it. If he’s not really the manly type then he might get scared off. Be weary though, if you think the guy is man enough to take the confrontation then he’s probably man enough to not just lead you on but act on his feelings as well. So make sure you figure out if the man was either leading you on intentionally or unintentionally before you go ahead and confront him on it. There are always the type of guys that are just waiting for a girl to tell him directly what she wants from him without having to go through the whole process of the game.
I hope that answered Rachelle’s question, and if you have any dating question you’d like to ask me, feel free to contact me.
I’d love to hear your comments on this topic. Thanks everyone.